(Closed) Seats in your honor – rude? not rude? punctuation?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think a lot of people are doing this now. We won’t be but not because we think it’s rude, I am just doing the ‘____How many attending’ line. No periods though.

Post # 4
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

i dont think it is rude. We will be doing the same thing. I think it will help avoid people assuming they can bring their kids or a date…

i would leave out the periods

Post # 5
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We did this.  I personally don’t think it’s rude.  I think that it is just clarification (we didn’t use inner envelopes).  We didn’t use periods.

Post # 6
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Not rude, no periods

Post # 7
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t think it’s rude.  We are wording it

we have reserved ____ seat(s) in your honor

____ will attend         ____ will not attend

No puncutation and all small caps.  We decided to word it this way so as to avoid verb-tense issue with “1 seat HAS been reserved” vs. “2 seats HAVE been reserved”.  It’s a nit-picky thing that probably no one will notice, but it bothered me. 

Post # 8
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

It’s not rude at all. I’ve yet to receive an invitation that didn’t have that wording.

Post # 9
5660 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We did this, we didnt have anyone add a random guest, and we didn’t have anyone say they thought it was rude. Instead, everyone understood exactly how many guests where invited (except one person who apparently can’t read and is bringing his 25 year old girlfriend, he’s in his 40s…)

Post # 10
1736 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think it’s rude at all. My response card says


__ Graciously Accepts
__ Regretfully Declines

We have reserved ______ seat(s) in your honor.

Post # 11
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We worded our exactly like babu22. No one has added any guests yet or been offended. We did have one cousin who likes to joke and pretended to be upset because a baby wasn’t given a seat.

Post # 12
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I find it off-putting.  It implies that your guests don’t know not to bring extra people. Or ensures them that you won’t be stacking guests… “We’ve invited three of you, but we’re only giving you two seats.  Get ready for some lap-sitting!!”  😉

To me, it’s awkward.  I know it’s fairly common now, and if I received an invitation with this line I wouldn’t think that the bride and groom were insulting me.  But I did not include it on my reply cards because I find it a little condescending to say this to my guests. (And I can’t help but think about requiring guests to sit on laps, or a musical-chairs scenario – when the music stops everyone will have to rush for a seat because we only reserved 4 in honor of your family of 5!  Silly, but it’s what the line always has made me think!)

If you choose to include the phrase you would not use punctuation afterward.

Post # 13
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I didnt do this and now that we are getting RSVP’s back with suprises I wish we would have. I dont think its rude at all. The only reason I didnt do it was because Fiance and I were lazy and didnt want to print a different number for each RSVP card.

Now I wish we would have.

Post # 14
117 posts
Blushing bee

Not at all rude.  I think it clarifies the invitation and gives guests a clear guideline as to whom they should bring.  As a guest, I appreciate knowing exactly what the host intended, so I’m all for it!

Post # 15
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t find it rude, and I totally understand the concept behind it, but I do find it a bit overly formal, at least for my guest list.  I think the rules of “if you’re not given a guest on the envelope, you can’t bring a guest” are a bit too hazy; not everyone knows this. So I see why forcing the guests to look at their seat count can be really helpful. But personally I’d rather just deal with those extra guests one by one, personally, by phone or email.

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