(Closed) seattlea dispute (long)

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

a) no.

b) going through your phone or Facebook or mail without your permission is a violation of privacy and not a sign of a stable or healthy relationship.

c)if you were just complaining (we all need to complain sometimes!) it’s not wrong. if there were other hidden intentions, yes, it’s wrong and you need to address it.

Post # 4
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think your fiance is over reacting.

Its OK to talk to people of the opposite sex. Especially old roommates/friends and catch up over coffee. why would you tell him you chatted with him? Darling Husband doesnt tell me when he talks to his girl friends or me when I talk to my guy friends just because they are of the other sex. We will mention what they said if its interesting or news worthy. Just like any other conversation I have with people. I dont even always tell him when I talked to his own mother. 

Its OK to talk to people of the opposite sex and even grab some food like you did if its with several other people (your friends) and its made clear that you are involved with someone.

He needs to trust you because you have shown to be trustworthy and until you demonstrate otherwise he sounds a bit controlling and over sensitive.

Post # 5
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@shel_lee_1:  Uhh I’m engaged but that does not mean my single girlfriends are! If they want to flirt with some guys I should be able to talk to the guys as well with no intentions. Jeez, what are you supposed to do? Say don’t talk to me i’m with someone and go sit in the corner? Pfft.

I don’t think you should have apologized for anything that night because it doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. I would feel violated if someone was going through emails/facebook accounts and would put my foot down. This sounds like controling behavior.

I wouldn’t talk to people behind his back though. I don’t think this is completely honest.

Post # 6
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It all depends on your relationship. That would all be a no-no in mine. We do not hang out with members of the opposite sex without the other, period. Talking to someone on facebook without mentioning it, for us, is a no-no. We have both agreed to let each other know if we are contacted by someone of the opposite sex, especially if it is an invitation to hang out. 

Our “rules” for ourselves wouldn’t work for every relationship, but they are mutually understood and agreed upon, so they work for us. 

Post # 8
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Your Fi is over reacting big time. There’s nothing wrong with a group of friends going out jeesh, tell him to put away the leash. Your right he’s wrong!

Post # 9
40 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

personally, i don’t see anything wrong with anything that you did. my fi would not be upset in the least. i am assuming, however, that is isn’t a regular occurance.

it doesn’t sound like you’ve done anything to make your fi doubt you. i would be very put off by his suspicions.  

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