(Closed) second baby NOT shower? honest opinions please!

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Until I came here, I didn’t know it was terrible to have a second shower. In fact, I went to one, gave presents, and still am not offended by it. Why not celebrate the second baby?

As for wording, I have no idea.

Post # 4
1032 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I have heard different opinions in this. I am of the opinion that there is nothing tacky about it. Everyone I know had a shower for their 2nd baby.

If you want to have a get together without any gifts, you can just put this on the invites.

Something alone the lines of “you presence is the only gift we need”

Call it a “celebration” instead of a baby shower.

Post # 5
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I honestly find nothing wrong with having a second baby shower. i dont see it as gift grabbing but rather your celebrating your new baby! I have been to many baby showers where it wasnt their first baby.

Post # 6
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am actually a fan of having a little shower or “sprinkle” for each baby. However, I think it would look like a gift grab if you are hosting the event yourself. Are any of the people asking offering to throw you a shower? 

Post # 7
413 posts
Helper bee

I was raised and always taught that you had a baby shower for your first baby and that was that.  Additional showers were “tacky” unless of course there were a substancial number of years between the children.

Post # 8
1032 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

@TheFutureMcBride: I agree. I think people get a little too much into “etiquette”. Ever since getting married, I am so done with what people tell me the etiquette is. If it works for me, and seems common ….then forget what people say the rules are 🙂   Everyone I know had a shower for the 2nd baby….

Post # 9
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I don’t see anything wrong with having a second shower. If you have everything that you need, I would just have a diaper shower.

Post # 10
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

here is my 2 cents. no it’s not wrong to have a second baby shower. but people dont see it as such a big deal as the first one. i just threw a huge baby shower for my best friends second kid and go so many comments on “why is this so big, it’s her second child”. and to be honest i felt a little the same. But i would never tell her that. i made the choice that for my second child i’m going to have a small group of close friends and close family come to the second one and have it be more of a lunch/treat shower. rather then all the baby games and shopping off a registry. i think that people just get the idea that a second shower isnt that big of a deal cause you already have so much of the big ticket items you need.

on the other had my friend didnt have a second baby shower and she is still hurt by the fact that her family and best friend didnt host one for her.

i think having a smaller one and maybe pick a theme like new born clothes-stuff that you really do need might be the way to go.

do whatever you want. a second baby is just as exciting and a blessing as your first. so do what you want!

Post # 11
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It really depends on what is acceptable in your area..

Post # 12
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s not bad per se to have a second baby shower, but you definitely shouldn’t throw it for yourself. It kind of sounded like you would be doing that to me. So, if you want to throw a party that is essentially for the birth of your second child, but is very explicitly not a shower, then it is fine. Or, maybe friends/family will throw you a shower 🙂 

Post # 13
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i honestly had no idea that anyone even had strong opinions about baby shower etiquette before becoming pregnant…to me, it’s a new baby, so of course there’s cause for celebration! so my opinion is that you should definitely celebrate your second child if that’s what you feel inspired to do. i think a party with a diaper raffle is a cute idea – but just like with any party (engagement, birthday, etc) i think you should make it very clear that you are doing it to celebrate your new addition and not asking for gifts. any gifts people want to give are just a bonus to being able to celebrate with your friends and family, right? i kind of hate the word tacky, but no one likes to feel pressured to buy things they may not be able to afford…

Post # 14
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think every baby should be celebrated BUT I think it should be smaller (either in guest list or not registering for the newest fads). So like I wouldn’t have a problem with a diaper/onesie party or some sort of “sprinkle” with cake, punch, and some friends.  But inviting your entire family again and creating a huge registry does seem like a gift grab TO ME.  If it’s normal in your area, go for it.

Post # 15
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I personally don’t think anyone should ever throw themselves any type of “shower,” so I don’t think diapers or anything else should be mentioned as needing to be brought to this party. But I think having a pre-baby BBQ or whatever would be totally fine, and definitely something you could host yourself. I would say, don’t make it a formal invite type of deal with an RSVP or anything. Either call people up or facebook them to invite them — keep it casual.

Post # 16
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think if someone else wants to host it then it’s fine but I don’t think you should plan it for yourself (or have your family plan it), that looks greedy.

Personally I wouldn’t think it was tacky to get an invitation to a baby shower for a second child – if the babies were close together and I didn’t really feel like I wanted to give anything I just wouldn’t attend.

I’d expect a second baby shower to be smaller and probably not have a registry unless there were at least 5 years between the children. Regardless, if I wanted to give a friend a present for a second baby I wouldn’t need there to be shower as a reason to do it.

I’d probably avoid the BBQ idea, because I wouldn’t go to a BBQ thinking I needed to bring a gift so stating that people don’t need to bring them sounds weird. If your family wants to get you something that’s fine – just tell them you’re not having a shower.

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