Post # 1
So I’m about to be engaged for the second time. Right now our wedding is booked and we are shopping for my ring; when the ring is picked out and paid for we will make things official and announce it to our families, but I find myself dreading that part a little. I am so excited to get married and know I am finally with the person I’m am suppose to be with but I can’t help but wonder if people will be thinking “oh she’s engaged again… “. My first engagement was 5 years ago, I was in my early 20s and a big part of me knew I was making a mistake, although it took me months to admit it. I ended up calling things off only 3 months before the wedding.
I’m afraid my past may ruin my experience this time around and I might not be able to enjoy my engagement the way I should. It’s hard to explain but I feel like I wasted my chance to have an exciting happy engagement on the wrong person; like I don’t deserve to have that those feelings or experience again.
Anyone else in this boat? How did your friends and family react when you announced that you were engaged again?
Post # 3
@SR: I have not been engaged but know a few people who are on their second or third engagements. Personally, when I think of their current engagement, it is impossible for me to not also think of their first engagement. It’s not anything bad, just that when I think of someone, I pull up my “mental folder” of them, and I simply remember their prior engagement(s) to someone else.
Post # 4
I was engaged once before. I’m sure people think of it, but I don’t care. Actually, my ex fiance is still a very real part of my life because his family is so terrible. We stayed friends and my family is still very close to him. He does Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. with my family, not his own. And of course all of our friends are mutual too.
But it is so clear that I’m so much happier with my current fiance. Furthermore my fiance was diagnosed with lymphoma, so my life has been in a lot of ways put on hold while he goes through surgeries, treatments, etc and my role as a caretaker is very obvious to all of our friends and family, so I think that has overshadowed my past.
Post # 5
@BuBuBubbles: I’m so sorry to hear that! He’s very lucky to have you by his side. Good luck with everything.
Post # 6
Cant be worse than 3 engagements in 5 years. Yeah….. my Fiance likes to say 3rd times a charm. lol Its annoying that people bring it up but I think since your previous engagement was so long ago they prob wont even think about it. I just tell people that Im such a good gf that men just want to marry me. haha 😉
Post # 7
Better to be previously engaged than to be divorced I think. I was engaged before and I wish that I hadn’t been, but I’m glad I didn’t marry that guy.
Post # 8
@SR: Same situation I was engaged in my early twenties to the guy I dated in HS and college and I had the same fears as you.
However let me tell you, it is exciting this time around and everyone is just as excited for us as if the previous engagement never happened. Don’t let it get in your head you will enjoy all the parts of planning and being engaged and so will everyone around you. I dont even think about my previous engagement because I am always thinking about how lucky I was I got out of it before I got married. I am happy to have found the guy that is great for me and we are going to start our lives together.
Post # 9
I got engaged when I was 18 (dumb) and again when I was 23 (mistake) and both times the people close to me were happy for me, but it never felt real enough to get excited over. Basically they knew it was not the right decision.
When I get engaged for a third time (soon! 🙂 then I know everyone will be elated because I am with a wonderful man, everyone loves him, and we are perfect together. They know I will be making the right decision.
@SR: Good luck 🙂
Post # 10
I was engaged once before as well. We were engaged for 7 years, and never did set a date because I knew in my heart that he wasn’t the right one.
Today I am happily engaged for the second time, and we are t-minus 8 months to the wedding day. I couldn’t be happier because I know that the man sitting next to me is the right person.
My family was super supportive, and know that I made the right decision.
Don’t worry about what other people think or say. Remember, it’s better that you pulled the plug BEFORE marriage the first time.
Enjoy this wonderful time in your life and best of luck to you!
Post # 11
I was engaged once before, and it occurred to me too, but I’ve just kind of… mentally dropped caring about it. Nobody else seems to.
Post # 12
I was engaged briefly once before, when I was 19. Which was an awful mistake. Everyone has kindly conveniently forgotten about it, as I try to also :S
Post # 12
I was engaged once before and he cheated on me six months before the wedding. Now, I’m with the love of my life and couldn’t be happier, but I feel exactly the same way when he talks about getting married. It’s like I got cheated out of the happy engagement and big wedding, even though I never got married. It hasn’t been that long so I’m sure when I get engaged again, people are going to compare the rings, and mentally judge me for my first engagement. My plan is to just focus on the positive, and how lucky I am to have dropped my cheating ex-fiance before I walked down the aisle, so that someday I’ll be able to walk down the aisle towards the man I was always meant to be with.
Post # 13
Engaged once when I was only 20. Too young, dumb and hasty all in one package. Yay for me *snorts* Ex-FI turned out to be a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad choice.
Engagement Ring he gave me was not even gold or silver, it was a paper-thin gold-plated brass. BRASS, yee-haw. Due to stupidity, I only discovered this AFTER we broke up. Fortunately my 2nd & current Fiance now is sooooo much better than him in every aspect. Better to be previously engaged than married, I think.