Second Engagement, First Wedding, Advice Please :)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do you think that I should do about the engagement ring in my safe? (if you were me)
    You agree with my plan to talk to my boyfriend about the situation the way I laid out. : (7 votes)
    19 %
    Sell the ring, losing half the money on it, thousands of dollars : (19 votes)
    51 %
    Make earrings and a necklace, though I would seldom wear because they are a bit extravagant : (4 votes)
    11 %
    Other, please comment : (7 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    712 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    View original reply
    AnneOnymous :  lol so you’re some little troll. 

    Not one person in this thread believes you because you started that off with how wonderful you are. Anyone wonderful doesn’t know it and certainly doesn’t openly brag which you just did. 

    This is totally a fake post lmao 

    Post # 47
    Member
    8936 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    AnneOnymous :  So we’ve got the ex-fiance, an ex-boyfriend who was between current fi & ex-fi, all of your friends and family PLUS now this dude you work with, who ALL agree that this is a brilliant plan. Yet somehow, for all your accomplishments, beauty, and extreme persuasiveness, you can’t persuade a single person here that it’s anything but bizarre. Ok. Please, do keep us posted and regale us with some more of your genius analogies.

    Post # 48
    Member
    961 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    AnneOnymous :  You actually didn’t listen to what most Bees were saying, which was that the only weird/inappropriate thing being done here was related to selling your already owned engagement ring diamonds to your current Fiance for retail price (minus a small discount, because you “can only get about half of that money previous Fiance spent by selling to a stranger”) in order to fund contributions to a wedding. I even said it would be nice if you could have your dream wedding that was taken from you.  So, address the “I own something and intend to sell it for a profit to my Fiance who will then give it back to me” portion if you feel some unnecessary need defend yourself, because no one said for certain that anything else you were doing would come off as wrong.

    You might be able to persuade your friends, family and Fiance, but you can’t do that to strangers and that was – I thought – why you reached out and asked us.  It seems silly coming onto a website, asking for advice and then getting bothered about honest answers which you specifically solicited  And now you just come off as a petulant woman who is upset people didn’t agree with how you’ve angled your plot to get what you want out of a wedding.  But no one really cares. And we literally only answered because you created a thread to ask our opinions.  If you want it, get yours girl. 

    That said, you mentioned a princess theme to your wedding.  And I love the idea of a well-planned princess wedding and can only find ideas on Pinterest.  So please post your ideas/plans/theme/dress on this website in the appropriate thread as you collect them and come closer to the wedding day.  I genuinely love that theme and wanted to ask a ton of questions.

    Post # 49
    Member
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Don’t ask for opinions if you can’t handle them.

    Post # 50
    Member
    961 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    AnneOnymous :  

    You know I posted on this site becauseo (not to sound like I am bragging), but I am a very accomplished and beautiful woman, who is also extremely persuasive, and I wanted make sure I got any criticisms…

    OP:

    US;OP

    US:  

    Post # 51
    Member
    5021 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2017

    OP has me laughing over here.  So great to see someone humble on the boards.  She is so accomplished, beautiful and not nearly as high maintenance as her ex’s ex girlfriend.

    Did I read correctly that she gave up a six figure job to plan the wedding of her dreams? Add intelligence to her list of amazing attributes. 

    It’s also laughable that she is calling other people out for being rude when she minimized the significance of miscarriage.  Oh, and others so kindly brought this to her attention.  You would think she would quickly redact such a thoughtless analogy yet she continues to stand by it.  Yeah, we are the rude ones.

     

    Post # 52
    Member
    961 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    j9marie :  This post title should really be “N-Bride Needs Money For Perfect Wedding, How Do I Get It From Stand-In FI? Vote On My Idea.”

    Post # 53
    Member
    2897 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    I was going to legitimately answer this question until I started reading the replies from the OP.  Wow, you’re pretty full of yourself aren’t you?  If you’re so great why do you need opinions from us?

    I feel like I’m one of the sharks on Shark Tank.  I’m out.

    Post # 54
    Member
    5539 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I think I see why you think unborn babies and weddings are interchangeable and easily replaced when lost.

    You planned the same wedding with your ex fiance as you did with your ex boyfriend and now you are doing the same with your current boyfriend.

    You’re treating your boyfriends as interchangeable and replaceable.

    Also, successful people would keep their six figure salary while planning their princess wedding

    And, you have talked to everyone under the sun (family, friends, coworkers, internet strangers) EXCEPT your current boyfriend. Get that over with because if he doesn’t want your princess dream wedding it’s on to the next boyfriend.

     

    I was very kind before even while cringing at your analogy but your “all about me I’m so pretty smart amazing and awesome sauce” made me want to throw up a little.

    Post # 55
    Member
    961 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    Sansa85 :  Exactly. She’ll find a new Fiance.  She didn’t ask him first because she wants to be able to cut off his disagreements by saying, “But my friends, my family and my coworker all said it was a good idea.  So did an entire wedding board. You HAVE to agree, or you are the one with the problem.”  I suspect she also didn’t come on the board asking for real advice about what people found ok, but to discover if there would be a topic  about things she has not developed calculated arguments in her defense for, already. She intends to win here and get her way, no matter what.

    Examples:

    About the ring.  Her arguement:  but you are saving SO much money, why wouldn’t you buy a discounted 2ct stone?  You’re only paying the price you would pay ANYWAY and getting a larger diamond in the process. Aren’t I worth xx amount of dollars to you?

    About selling the ring TO Fiance: Well, he’d just throw it away on a smaller diamond I don’t want and this way he makes it “his” by buying it, but I don’t really lose anything. Plus, more money for me for my wedding! Maybe he doesn’t even have to know…

    About the wedding: I got my friends to agree, even though bridesmaid X can’t eat for a year. I got mom to agree with me. But what about his parents? Will his mom be offended?  How do I angle it so that it makes sense to her? Oh, yeah! I put “so much work” into the last one and would be forced to quit my job and have your son/my Fiance take care of me for 9 months during the wedding planning so we should just have this wedding I already planned.

    OP comes to the board with this mindset: Did I miss any other argument I need to develop? So far I have an excuse for everything?  Will a guest say something I am not prepared to explain away?  Let me ask this wedding website so that I have every argument covered for why I it is a good idea that I get what I want….

     

    The only redeeming thing about this post is that she eventually just outright admits that she schemes to get her way (not because she is narcissistic and manipulative of course, but because she is beautiful and brilliant).

     

     

    Post # 57
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    My fiance and I have been planning the wedding together. I couldn’t imagine having this wedding three years from now and just changing the groom. That would be so sad. I don’t think I would want anything that reminded me of that old relationship, including the ring. That might have been your dream wedding three years ago but hasn’t anything changed in/about you in the past three years? I get using the same dresses and decor to save money but I would want the new wedding to be a whole lot different than what I was planning three years ago with another man. Have any new venues opened up? Is there some place or details that are meaningful to your current fiance?

     

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