(Closed) Second engagement proposal?

posted 8 years ago in Proposals
Post # 17
802 posts
Busy bee

I’m going to disagree with Fi’s post above (^_^) a little and say that our own relationship is one where I don’t have to worry about talking to him about wanting another proposal, or suggesting ideas to him. 

But everyone’s relationship is different. If it’s hard for you to bring up the possibility of another proposal, perhaps have a friend help you out. In the way that friends sometimes help out your SO in saying, oh hey, she wants this for Xmas, or her birthday, maybe one of your friends can just gently pull him aside and say “Hey, the fact that you got down on one knee to propose means a lot to her. But she feels bad about the way her family acted, and she secretly would like …fill in the blank .. but doesn’t want to tell you about it because she doesn’t want to make you feel bad/put pressure on you. It would be really great if you could surprise her!”

Also going to disagree with another previous poster because I don’t believe that proposals are only for unengaged couples. Even though convention is – you propose once and that’s it – who dictates that you only get to do it once? And if it doesn’t go right, then you don’t get a redo?  Or that you can’t do it every year, just because you like doing it? 

People re-new their vows. Why can’t people propose more than once to the same person? I don’t think it’s supposed to replace the first proposal, but it’s about the romance, and sentiment behind the gesture. 

Post # 19
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@amille56:  I’m happy for you that your guy was so understanding and open about the situation. It’s really, really difficult to convey certain things that are based solely on an emotion, especially when YOU can’t even identify just what that emotion is. And especially when you feel guilty about having any emotion other than pure elation in the first place. 

I loved my proposal. It was perfect. But I admit to feeling a little silly and guilty that for the ten minutes before he proposed, I kept turning down his hints and nudges to come up to my apartment with me. I worry sometimes (with no rational part of my brain, I assure you) that the proposal wasn’t what HE wanted it to be because I was ready to call it a night and had the beginnings of a migraine and didn’t want to deal with the dogs going crazy when they heard him outside the door. I certainly hope that he doesn’t have any “I wish” thoughts about how the proposal went, because to me it was perfect.

I have to laugh a little bit because he has since asked me to marry him so many times. He is SO excited to be marrying me (as I am to be marrying him!) that he asks me all the time, at random times, to marry him. Like tonight. I was massaging his hand and elbow and I asked him to hold my ring for me. When I was finished, he was wearing it on his pinky. I said, “You know, that ring looks beautiful on you, but I think I’d like it back now, please.” And he paused before handing it back to me and said, “Beautiful, random girl I don’t even know, will you marry me?” Don’t even ask me what the “random girl I don’t even know” part is, because I have no idea! He’s a weird man, but EVERY time he asks me to marry him, I get all tingly and butterflies-y and it makes me more confident that he has no regrets about how the first proposal went down.

Post # 20
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was watching proposal videos on youtube one time and this one girl and her Fiance went hiking and at the top of the hill he proposed! He captured it all on camera! Point being this girl was wearing work out clothes her hair was in a pony tail and she had no make up on and he was in shorts t-shirt and running shoes. I thought it was very cute.

Just think about the fact that your proposal was not one of those cookie cutter proposals! Did you cry? Did you expect him to do it right their and then? If you felt all those things when he asked you then you don’t need another proposal. I think you shouldn’t ask for another proposal :/ To me THAT sounds planned!

Post # 21
666 posts
Busy bee

I’m always interested in reading about this situation about “re-proposing” when there is initially no ring, and then the ring comes after.  My Fiance proposed without a ring too, and I don’t think any second proposal would make any sense either….it’s already done, he officially asked me and I officially agreed. 

But what I do wonder, is for other people that did it this way, is what did you do when the ring came?  Rip it out of the box and stick it on your hand?  My Fiance is hoping to have the ring in January, so will he just toss it my way and say “here”?  I don’t want another proposal, I already have that, but does any one have any experience at how the ring giving goes down?

My Fiance and I are currently in a LDR too, so I guess that might add to it… I don’t expect or want anything when the ring is here, but can’t help but wonder how it transpires once here, if that makes sense! 

Post # 22
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

They say that only a small percentage of women get those Hollywood Proposals… (Down on one knee – unique setting – ring in hand) the rest of us get asked in other ways… lol, or barely asked at all

My Non-Proposal is a good example.

Mr TTR and I were in Myrtle Beach on vacation, we saw a couple who were having their Wedding Pictures taken on the Beach.

He said “That looks like fun”

I said “Really”

He said, “Ya you should look into that for our next visit”

And so, I did.  And we began ring shoppping together.

When we found the ring, (it took 6 weeks to find the ring… in the meantime we told everyone we were engaged and ring shopping, and he asked my Dad for his blessing of our marriage), he bought it.

When we picked up the ring together from the Jewellers, Mr TTR put it on my finger, and gave me a kiss.

That was it.

NOW that doesn’t mean that we didn’t find ways to celebrate.  The day we picked up the ring we went out for Drinks & Dinner with friends (a little champagne, and a whole lot of ooohs and aaahs at the sparkle).  And we also booked an overnight at a local hotel… in a posh suite.  We definitely found ways to mark our Engagement.

May not have been the Hollywood Proposal, but it works.  In the end, we are planning our wedding, marriage, and happy ever after… and that is all that matters.


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