Post # 1
Hi bees! This is going to be a long post, so I apologize in advance for that
Here’s my story: My boyfriend offered to get me a promise ring for Christmas this year. We really aren’t that old (20 and 23) so we discussed that he would get me a promise ring to start out and then a few years down the road, once we’re older and both ready, he would get me an engagement ring. I was so excited! I went to work trying to find the perfect ring and stay within his budget. I found a few that I liked, but none of them really made me over-the-moon happy. I have fat fingers (size 9) and I tried on a few small promise rings at Kay Jewelers and they just looked itty bitty on my hands. I also scoured the internet trying to find a ring that was a big bigger but was still in budget (which, actually, led me here–so happy I found this site). I found one online that I liked, a 1/2 tcw ring with a 1/4 ct diamond and 1/4 ct halo, plain band…but when I asked the bees what they thought, they told me to stay away from the seller (Pompeii3) and suggested that if we were on a tight budget to look at moissanite. I looked at some and actually found out that a girl I work with has a moissanite ring. I couldn’t even tell it wasn’t a diamond! I researched moissanite and I found that I think it is a really cool stone, I love that it’s created by scientists and that it is actually naturally more rare than a diamond. I found a moissanite ring that I am in love with—fits in the budget, is gorgeous, is big enough that it will not look itty bitty on my hand, my boyfriend wouldn’t have to get me another ring down the road because this one is gorgeous, and it makes me over-the-moon with happiness…but! I’m afraid it’s TOO big.
It’s a 1.04 tcw ring. The center stone is .90 ct and the sidestones and halo equal .14 ct…I’m afraid that it’s too much like an engagement ring. My boyfriend doesn’t care, he just wants me to be happy but I’m worried. Should I look for something smaller instead? Maybe .75 or half a carat? Should I just go with this ring that I’m in love with and deal with my family and friends asking if I’m engaged? It was only supposed to be a small ring, so am I taking it too far by wanting a larger, engagement ring?
I’m just at a loss for what to do.
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL
@raychul13: I will be honest and say that any ring I see on a woman’s left hand ring finger without a second (wedding) band says “engagement ring” to me. And I agree, that a sizeable ring with a white center stone partically says “engagement ring.”
Post # 4
If you love the ring, get the ring! Technically, a promise ring is a promise to get engaged anyway. So why not pick your engagement ring now, and have him take it away for a few weeks later on so he can suprise you with a proposal?
Post # 5
@happilyeveraftergirl: that’s actually a pretty good idea. I want this ring so bad, it’s perfect. I’m just sort of scared of what people are going to say/ask me
Post # 6
I personally wouldnt go for a full on engagement esque ring like that for a promise ring. Then what excitement is left for an engagement ring? I bet you want your e ring to feel like an upgrade.
Post # 7
I don’t think the ring will look too big, however it is very engagement-y and may confuse people. If you don’t mind that then go for it! It looks like a nice ring!
I PERSONALLY would go for a gemstone or something for a promise ring. Maybe like a sapphire or an aquamarine. Then you can switch it over to your right hand and even wear it as your “something blue” on your wedding day! Just a suggestion.
Post # 8
I would suggest a different center stone, maybe a blue topaz or black diamond, that way it doesn’t look SO much like an engagement ring? =)
Post # 9
@LovelyCoCoBee: I told him that if he got that, I wouldn’t need an upgrade to an engagement ring.
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL
@raychul13: “I told him that if he got that, I wouldn’t need an upgrade to an engagement ring.” This is understandable, but if I were you I would wait and save the money (and the moissy) for the e-ring. I think you will regret not getting the “whole package” for your proposal if you get this ring as your promise ring.
Post # 11
@raychul13: Personally, it would drive me up the wall to have people keep asking me if I was engaged and to keep having to tell them no. I wouldnt want to put up with that. I would choose a colored stone orplain metal ring or EVEN a clear stone if you want to … but I would put it on my RIGHT hand ring finger!
Post # 12
My cousin wears a three stone diamond ring on her left ring finger as a “promise ring” for her Boyfriend or Best Friend. People are always asking her is shes engaged, it drives her nuts.
I also agree with the PP who suggested saving the clear larger stone for the actual proposal. If you want something larger, then I think a beautiful gemstone would be great. Morganite, topaz, sapphire and aquamarine are some good options. I also agree with @wrkbrk about wearing it on your right hand, to avoid people constantly asking if you are engaged.
Gemstones can of course be engagement rings too, but if you’re planning a diamond/moissy ering then a colored stone promise ring would be great!
Here are some from LOGR on eBay that are just stunning!
Post # 13
It would break my heart when people would ask me if I was engaged and I would have to explain no I’m not, it’s a promise ring, there are enough people who have oppinions about promise rings as it is, that I wouldn’t want to make i an invitation for discussion.
Also I know that you said you would be fine with just using that ring as an engagement ring as well, but it is kind of taking away from the whole fun and tradition of getting engaged in the first place.
I woudl personally get a different ring, different stone. It’s a beautiful idea, and I love that your SO is letting you pick it out, but the ring you want seems to be jumping the gun a little. ALthough, at the end of the day do what makes you happy.
This is comparable to going into a wedding dress store and trying on dresses without an engagement, sure it will happen someday, but it will not be as special when it’s official.
Post # 14
I dont think it’s too big.. I would probably wear it on my right hand though.
ETA: you may want to look into a forver brilliant stone, as shapes have a higher chance of being warm and showing color.
There is also the option of going for a colored gem, and waiting to get that ring that you absolutely 100% love for when you’re ready to be engaged, then that can be a “forever” ring.
Post # 15
Like others have said, it would drive me nuts to have to explain that my ring isn’t an engagement ring. I’m anti-promise ring anyway, but that’s a different story. If you’re dead set on wearing that ring then maybe wear it on your right hand and switch it to the left when he proposes?
Post # 16
@raychul13: Yeah I get it! But just go with your gut! Get what you want!