(Closed) second intimacy related topic – having sex or making love?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

“making love” sounds like an after school special term to me. So cheesy! Makes me squirm ;-).

Post # 4
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Well, SO and I have sex all the time. But when we make love, there is definitely a difference. There are certain positions, paces, etc that are more intimate and that’s what makes them “making love” times over “sexy” time IMO lol. 

Post # 5
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I never say making love without laughing.  Yes, we do it, but I can’t say those words.

Post # 6
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Both! =) Depends on if we want a quickie or a more intimate session.

Post # 8
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve gotta throw a third option in there…I would say sometimes we make love, sometimes we have sex, and sometimes we straight up f*ck. Depends on the day, but all are good 🙂


Post # 9
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

both… we also say doing it (sooo mature!) and effing… I guess they have different implications (spontaneous, more enthusiastic, more gentle, intimate, carnal, etc.) but I wouldn’t say that “sex” is something you do with someone you don’t care about!

Post # 10
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@PetraArkanian:  +1. There are definitely differences but I never refer to them in conversation. I think usually if I am talking about it to friends I say something like “I got laid.” Never “we made love” or “we f*cked”. 

Post # 11
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

We say “let’s bone” haha. Making love just sounds totally weird to me. I could never say that! 

Post # 12
4073 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

We sex each other up… Lol. Sexytimez ftw!

Post # 14
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

For us making love its more intimate and having sex its more like a quickie, and its totally normal to call it making love. I guess that how normal is just how used to using it you are, at first it used to be too formal, but we found a meaning for making love so now its totally normal.

Post # 15
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@PetraArkanian:  I agree with you!

When me and my guy “fuck,” it’s hot and nasty, on the table, on the floor, screaming, wake the neighbors type stuff.

Having sex? It’s still great, but it’s…different. It’s not as fervent–we want each other but it’s not as animalistic as fucking.

Making love…we make love, but it’s super special when we do because we don’t do it as often as the other two options. But we both know when we are because it’s emotional for both of us. It’s slow and sensuous and loving. It’s bonding. It’s incredible. I can’t even describe it. We both come, but it’s not so much the goal. It’s more on expressing our love and enjoying each other’s bodies, whereas with the other two options, it’s more of getting off and getting pleasure from each other’s bodies without taking the time to truly appreciate the emotional aspect of it.

Post # 16
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Torrid:  —> THIS (Reply # 14)

Mr TTR and I had this discussion early on in our relationship, and indeed we see “the act” as totally being able to represent 3 different things dependent on the Mood and WHEN, WHERE and HOW

And we LOVE that there are 3 different “games” that we bring to the table… or bedroom (sorry, blatent PUN there… I am a gal who loves puns)

As for actually use of the terminology in real life…

We usually say sex out-loud as in… “Hey, wanna have sex ?” for 99% of the time we are describing our sexy-time (BTW… I LOVE that term, sexy-time… and am going to start using it regularly as well)

We rarely use the F-Word when referring to our own sex life… but we clearly know what the difference is !!  Occasionally one us might say if we are out somewhere and getting a bit randy “When we get home, we are sooo going to F*%K like rabbits !!”

And “making love”… we almost never use… but we most certainly know that that is very special couple-time.  And enjoyable.  Just that it typically is far more work / commitment because it is the kind of sex you have on a rainy Saturday lingering hours snuggling together with no pressures to be anywhere else but in the arms of your beloved.

We have a friend who uses “making love” in sentences… and it cracks us up totally… it just sounds, I don’t know… so “novelistic”.  For sure it is the reality of that type of sexual encounter, but it just seems so corn-ball to say


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