Post # 1
this is completely unrelated to other topic so i thought id seperate then!
ive always referred to sex…as, well sex. no matter my feeligns for my partner. but fi was horrified when i said it the first time to him. because to him, having sex is something you do with someone you dont give a damn about and making love is something you do with a person that you love. and its important what you call it
in england, ive never really heard of people saying making love in conversation, even when they do love the person and are married. well, except in romance novels. whereas i guess in mexico (where fi is from) theres a bigger difference in spanish
which do you say? do you think theres a difference?
Post # 3
“making love” sounds like an after school special term to me. So cheesy! Makes me squirm ;-).
Post # 4
Well, SO and I have sex all the time. But when we make love, there is definitely a difference. There are certain positions, paces, etc that are more intimate and that’s what makes them “making love” times over “sexy” time IMO lol.
Post # 5
I never say making love without laughing. Yes, we do it, but I can’t say those words.
Post # 6
Both! =) Depends on if we want a quickie or a more intimate session.
Post # 8
I’ve gotta throw a third option in there…I would say sometimes we make love, sometimes we have sex, and sometimes we straight up f*ck. Depends on the day, but all are good 🙂
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
both… we also say doing it (sooo mature!) and effing… I guess they have different implications (spontaneous, more enthusiastic, more gentle, intimate, carnal, etc.) but I wouldn’t say that “sex” is something you do with someone you don’t care about!
Post # 10
@PetraArkanian: +1. There are definitely differences but I never refer to them in conversation. I think usually if I am talking about it to friends I say something like “I got laid.” Never “we made love” or “we f*cked”.
Post # 11
We say “let’s bone” haha. Making love just sounds totally weird to me. I could never say that!
Post # 12
We sex each other up… Lol. Sexytimez ftw!
Post # 13
@crayfish: but thats my problem!! sayign ‘making love’ makes me squirm, doesnt come naturally to me and i think its oh so cheesy. and frankly (not that i discuss in depth my sex life with friends) my firneds would fall about laughing if i said ‘made love’
for fi, saying sex as in “we had sex” is the equivalent i think to saying fucked… “we fucked, i fucked him/ her” or whatever. and i dont particularly say that either
for me it doesnt make a difference fast/slow/hard/gentle as to what i call it =S i need to find a new word hahaha
Post # 14
For us making love its more intimate and having sex its more like a quickie, and its totally normal to call it making love. I guess that how normal is just how used to using it you are, at first it used to be too formal, but we found a meaning for making love so now its totally normal.
Post # 15
@PetraArkanian: I agree with you!
When me and my guy “fuck,” it’s hot and nasty, on the table, on the floor, screaming, wake the neighbors type stuff.
Having sex? It’s still great, but it’s…different. It’s not as fervent–we want each other but it’s not as animalistic as fucking.
Making love…we make love, but it’s super special when we do because we don’t do it as often as the other two options. But we both know when we are because it’s emotional for both of us. It’s slow and sensuous and loving. It’s bonding. It’s incredible. I can’t even describe it. We both come, but it’s not so much the goal. It’s more on expressing our love and enjoying each other’s bodies, whereas with the other two options, it’s more of getting off and getting pleasure from each other’s bodies without taking the time to truly appreciate the emotional aspect of it.
Post # 16
@Torrid: —> THIS (Reply # 14)
Mr TTR and I had this discussion early on in our relationship, and indeed we see “the act” as totally being able to represent 3 different things dependent on the Mood and WHEN, WHERE and HOW
And we LOVE that there are 3 different “games” that we bring to the table… or bedroom (sorry, blatent PUN there… I am a gal who loves puns)
As for actually use of the terminology in real life…
We usually say sex out-loud as in… “Hey, wanna have sex ?” for 99% of the time we are describing our sexy-time (BTW… I LOVE that term, sexy-time… and am going to start using it regularly as well)
We rarely use the F-Word when referring to our own sex life… but we clearly know what the difference is !! Occasionally one us might say if we are out somewhere and getting a bit randy “When we get home, we are sooo going to F*%K like rabbits !!”
And “making love”… we almost never use… but we most certainly know that that is very special couple-time. And enjoyable. Just that it typically is far more work / commitment because it is the kind of sex you have on a rainy Saturday lingering hours snuggling together with no pressures to be anywhere else but in the arms of your beloved.
We have a friend who uses “making love” in sentences… and it cracks us up totally… it just sounds, I don’t know… so “novelistic”. For sure it is the reality of that type of sexual encounter, but it just seems so corn-ball to say