(Closed) Second reception invitees: Do I send them a wedding invitation?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Huh. that’s an interesting quandary. Would you be ok with them coming to both? Because that could happen if you do the second option..

Post # 4
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Hulafish, I sort of had the same question – I currently live in Maryland, but am from NJ…. but I’m having my wedding in MD so that it’s a fun "destination" wedding for basically ALL of our guests.  However, i do have a bunch of work friends who I have invited to the wedding… the issue was when my bridesmaids wanted to send out shower invitations and I didnt know whether or not to invited them because I knew they might not come and I didn’t want to look like I was fishing for gifts, but at the same time I disn’t want them to feel hurt by not getting an invitation.  So I casually brought it up one day and to my surprise, one of the girls had been planning on attending and had already talked to an old college friend about meeting up that weekend as well.

In short, I think your idea of inserting a little note about realizing that they might not be able to make the wedding but you wanted to invite them anyway and hope to celebrate with them when you return is a great idea.  That way the invitation is extended, no one’s feelings are hurt, and no one feels like they got conned into purchasing a gift to a wedding they can’t attend.   

Post # 5
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Hulafish, I would recommend sending them a wedding announcement, and not a wedding invitation.

Announcements normally are sent the day of or after the actual wedding to let your local friends know that you got married, and to inform them that they will be invited to a local reception so they don’t feel entirely left out. They usually go something like this:

Jane Doe was married to John Smith in an intimate ceremony on MMDDYY in XXX location.

We share our exciting news with you and look forward to celebrating with you at a location reception.  Invitations will arrive soon.

If you’ve had time to actually plan the second reception, then definitely add the details.  If you’re only focused on the primary wedding and plan on pulling details for the second reception later, then a general announcement will do.

Post # 7
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I like the announcement/reception invitation combo.  We’re having a very small family/friends who are like family-only wedding.  To celebrate with more of our community, we’re hosting a larger casual reception when we get back from the honeymoon.  Since we’re getting married very close to where we live, we’re just letting people know when they ask that it’s family only, but we’ll have a special reception when we’re back.  Though it just occured to me that we should probably send out invites before we leave… one more thing for the to-do list!

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