- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I really am at a loss for who to talk to about this–so I figured i would ask publicly
Some background–I’m 34, once divorced. I met my fiance through eHarmony just a few months after my divorce( I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but it just happened). We bought a house together after being together for 16 months.We got engaged after being together 27 months.
My first marriage–we were best friends, he was very affectionate, but there was no sexual attraction (towards him from me). To make a long story story, he ended up semi-abruptly walking out and married my then-best friend. Hurtful and betrayed to say the least, but when I know realize how much our marriage was lacking. I was content, but not HAPPY
Fast forward to today. Our wedding is in 7 weeks. Over the last several weeks I’ve had doubts about our relationship. We trust, respect, and love each other in ways I didn’t think were possible. My problem is that I’m not receiving the affection I would like. Fiance says it’s because I’m all over him all the time (this is a problem???) and he doesn’t get a chance to. I feel like I have to fight for love and affection. Not a problem with sex…although I still want it more than he does. Problem #2 is that I constantly feel like I am trying to please him and it’s a one way road (little things I realize are normal to not do, like closing drawers, putting dishes in sink, turning off curling iron)
The first time I got married i was 23, had no doubts. This time I’m 34 and full of doubts. I’m worried because I know it’s normal to have pre-wedding cold feet but usually those are non-specific, like fear of the permanancy, unknown, etc.. But these are specific fears.
Ugg. I don’t know if I’m just overthinking things are being crazy or what. I love Fiance like crazy. Everyone tells my we’re great together, which we are. Both my parents are deceased so I can’t talk to them. I talk to my sister, she’s supportive, tells me we’re great together, talk to my Fiance (which I do), and hopes it works out. I don’t know if talking to therapist would help ( I have before, struggled with depression and anxiety for the last 9 years)
Any helpful bee words of advice out there?