- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I’m getting married in a little over 2 months, and I am currently experiencing extreme amounts of stress, anxiety, and suffering from a severe case of cold feet. I was fine 2 months ago, but about a month ago I discovered that my fiance had cheated on me; was having an affair with some women he met at a work conference.
This affair didnt last long mostly because I caught him. After finding this out we got into a huge argument, and in the end we decided we still loved each other and that it was mistake, and I was so willing to forgive and forget. Things were fine, great even for the few weeks that followed but in recent weeks I have actually had time to think about everything that was said and done, and I honestly feel like I do not want to get married anymore.
I was so willing to forgive and move on because at that moment in time, it was the easy and most convenient option- we have a house together, animals, combined accounts, phones, insurance, everything is tied to each other. Having had time to reflect on things, I just feel like I can never trust him.
We have known each other for 10 years, dating for 5, and engaged for 3 years. I love home very much, and used have the utmost trust in the fact that I am the only one for him, but that is gone. I still love him with all my heart; he is my best friend. I just don’t know where to go from here? He never talks about the problem and acts like it never happened, and is just so confident in the wedding and in us, that I don’t know if I can ruin it. It’s just so hard for me to look at him and feel the way I did before I knew. To me he was “the one,” the one guy that I thought was above every other guy I know; he was the one I thought would love me no matter what. Now, i no longer look at him with those feelings; in my eye he’s just like evey other guy. It breaks my heart to say that out loud, but it’s the truth.
Having said that, the thoughts going through my head are, “I don’t want to get married.” I know that if I say something he will get mad and things will end terribly. In the event that it did end, I’d like to be friends but I don’t see that happening.
Is there anyone that has advice or have been in a similar situation that can offer some words of encouragement. This is probably the most life altering decision I will ever have to make in my life, and I just want to know that I’ve explored every option possible. I appreciate any help I can get.