Post # 1
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
Maybe I’m overreacting – but every year three friends and I have a quadruple birthday party. (One of these friends is a BM). So this year I touched base with the girls on if we were having a party (it is always in June) and was told yes, so I tried to help plan it but felt like I was getting the brush off and it seemed like they didn’t want to do it (which was fine with me, I can go either way). So today – I receive an email forward from the Bridesmaid or Best Man friend out of this group. An evite had gone out about a triple birthday party, and the day before she forwards it to her work friends (and includes me in that distribution, first time I’ve heard of it, and I am not a work friend).
Is it just me, or is that incredibly rude? There is no real reason for them to have "cut" me from this party, and they’ve referred to it as our quadruple party several times over the last month or so. I don’t even know if I want to go – especially since the friends I normally invite to this party (who know the other three but were not on the evite either) won’t be going since I didn’t invite them!
Probably sounds petty but this has me seriously reconsidering my friendship – maybe this girl is tired of me and I’ve just been to blind to see it. It makes me wish she wasn’t a BM!
Post # 3
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
sounds like a weird situation… when it doubt talk it out. ^_^
just talk to them about it… it was probably a big misunderstanding.
Post # 4
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
i do think this is rude, considering you asked them if you would be doing it together and she said yes and decided not to but didn’t let you know. sounds like there is something going on with you guys and you may want to talk to her to clear the air, maybe she is unhappy about something and its somehow coming out the wrong way?
Post # 5
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
So when you say a triple birthday party, I assume that means you were not included this year? That is strange to me, especially since you’d specifically asked them about it before. I think it definitely needs to be addressed. Maybe just start casual – give your friend a call and say "Hey, what’s up with the party? I remember we’d talked about it a few weeks ago and I saw the invitation you sent today. I kind of assumed we’d all be doing it together again this year, did we change the plan?"
Maybe they assumed that you wouldn’t have time with planning a wedding, maybe it’s a jealousy thing, maybe they are going to surprise you by making it a birthday slash bachelorette, maybe your friend is still mad that last year you ordered a magenta instead of a maroon cake. I guess my point is there’s no way to know until you talk to them.
Post # 6
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
Yes, this is the first year I wasn’t included. I’m bummed, and find it really weird I’m told the day before. The party is tonight, and I can’t even go b/c we’re celebrating Father’s Day early and by the time that is done I’m going to be way too tired to head to the other side of town for a party that I’m not even really sure I’m welcome at! Though I do worry that I’m going to make things even worse by not attending. I haven’t been able to get anyone on the phone about it.
Post # 7
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
ohhhh dear, I am so sorry you are dealing with this!! I would talk with your friend casually and ask about it (either before or after) and let her talk it out. Let her know it hurt your feelings and then see if she is genuinely apologetic, if there was an honest mistake made, or if it is somthing more than that… I would hold tight and not jump to conclusions too quickly, but I definitely think you should have a heart to heart about it!! Best of luck!
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