(Closed) second thoughts on my MOH….

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

yeah, not really sure you can do this….it would be a huge slap in the face to her.

Post # 4
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry things are going awry. 🙁

I’m sorry to say though, there’s no way you can cut your Maid/Matron of Honor loose without some serious feelings being hurt. And I dare say that your relationship will be rendered irreparable. 

If she’s getting info off the internet she’s probably seeing what a lot of people do–setting their Maid/Matron of Honor apart with a slightly different dress or a bigger bouquet. 

Since you’re doing the different dress thing, maybe you could appease her with a different bouquet than your BMs?

Post # 5
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@MissHoneyBun: Totally agree!

@ShandaK: Could you maybe set her apart by having her wear/carry  something that’s slightly different? Like her bouquet or maybe a special piece of jewelry?

I think that you changing your Maid/Matron of Honor would not lead to anything good. I know I’d be VERY hurt if my cousin asked me to be Maid/Matron of Honor and then changed her mind. I think you should have a heart to heart with her and explain that while her ideas are nice, you already have an idea for what you’d like your wedding to be. Maybe if you tell it to her straight, she’ll think before she speaks.

Good Luck!

Post # 7
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@ShandaK: Guess I just have to suck it up….

actually she is the one that needs to suck it up! and stop complaining that her dress won’t stand out as much as she would like.

i say just refrain from talking too much to her about the details and then she can’t refute them with what she wants or thinks is better (in her opinion).

Post # 8
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@ShandaK: I’m actually having the same issue. I have three Maid/Matron of Honor and that’s it (it’s easier than picking one Best Man for my FI). But my Best friend of three years who was my original Maid/Matron of Honor and the one that’s actually going to stand by me has really dropped off the face of the earth and my other one that I’ve only recently gotten close to is been an amazing help. She’s helping me plan and pick out dresses and she’s genuinely excited so I’m starting to want her as my Beside-me-MOH. And then we thought of doing it by height so that’s what we could tell everyone. But idk sorry I couldn’t help but at least you know you’re not alone!

Post # 9
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2011

When I started planning my wedding I got a lot of unwanted opinions when it came to my ideas. I stopped sharing my ideas or even talking about the wedding with certain people. My mom told me that its my day, and no one should let me feel like I have to please them on my day. So that being said, tell your cousin that its your wedding and she already has the option to pick her style of dress – color is non-negotiable – and if she doesn’t like it, then she should just keep that to herself!! 

You are allowed to be a Bridezilla when the occasion calls for it!!

Post # 11
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I can totally relate! I feel for you or anyone in a position like us! Its really hard and I still haven’t come to a conclusion with mine. For me it feels like what is the “Principle” but who am I to be “Schooling” anyone or putting anyone in their place. I am sure I have said my share of dumb things without realizing so. Weddings seem to bring out a lot of emotions out of everyone, some good and some bad. I was also “warned” by past brides, that true colors do come out during this stress/chaotic time, so open your eyes, take it in, this how these people are! Trust me, I was shocked too! I hope you come to a conclusion and can be at peace with your wedding, how ever it may turn out, or who ever is standing up there next to you! I hope the girls can put their fight/feelings aside for you, and just be happy for you and even more supportive! Best of Luck! The only piece of advice I could offer is, dont jump to any conclusions or any rash decisions, think things through! 🙂 And most of HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING! 

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