(Closed) Second Time Around

posted 10 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think the who, what, and where are totally up to you. You could wear a wedding gown or rock a totally awesome evening gown/cocktail dress.

  As far as showers go- I’m a little old fashioned and against second wedding showers if you had a first wedding shower. (After my cousin’s THIRD wedding/wedding shower I’m over it)

  Since it’s his first wedding you may consider having a shower for his side? (But if you want to do both don’t let me stop you, I’m probably in the minority). 

  Congratulations by the way!



Post # 4
1254 posts
Bumble bee

You and I are on the same boat (2nd marriage and age)! It is good to see there are some of us on here. ๐Ÿ™‚ Like you, my first one was a small circus paid for by both sides of the family. It was such a blur and the only thing I really remember was being hungry all day. Many people told me they spoke to me at the wedding but I don’t even remember them being there.

This time I want something small too consisting of just family and really close friends. My criteria for this was folks we kept in regular contact with and who knew both my fiance’ and I. This means, friends and family that we only keep in contact with during the holidays and those who will meet the other half for the first time at the wedding is eliminated from the guest list. Also I am doing a wedding weekend as opposed to a one-night main event. This gives me a chance to spend more time with folks who are traveling long distances. One thing I didn’t get a chance to do the last time.

Although I am not proud of having a first failed marriage, I am sorta happy that I get a do over. I consider the first one to be a mulligan! Tongue out

Post # 5
1205 posts
Bumble bee

I’m in the same position…  I’m 31, had a large circus (haha) the first time around and my parents paid. 

This time it’s the real deal and I went through a lot to be ready for this.  Fiance has never been married and has no children (I have two – 8yrs and 9yrs).  Since we both have H.U.G.E. families, we first talked about a Destination Wedding.  His family freaked out, so we’re having the full-blown, all-out wedding.  Only we get to pay for it.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Things I love about being an encore:  1) I can wear what I want, 2) invite who I want, basically it really gets to be OUR day.  (I know that every couple gets their day, but I also remember feeling guilty for not doing things the way my parents suggested when they were paying.  What can I say, I was young and dumb) 

The only people who are getting invited “again” are the people who I am closest to – family and friends that watched everything unravel over the years and couldn’t be happier for me.

My BMs are throwing me a shower and I chose to invite mostly his side of the family and my closest friends. 

I chose a simple dress in a light gold color and will be wearing a burnt orange bolero all evening – just because I want to!  ๐Ÿ™‚

Once I decided that being an encore was pretty cool, I was more confident in my decisions and maybe that will be true for you as well! 


Post # 6
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ditto! I’m inviting those who were so loving and supportive and close to me/us.  Those who were so there for me when my ex did what he did and watched me pick up the pieces.

They are all so happy on both sides, it is hard keeping our wedding “intimate” as I’m finding.  Our numbers keep rising.

As for my dress?  (loud WB gasp coming) I’m wearing a summery cocktail dress in white!  Dressing it up with some amazing shoes and bag and loving it!  Still having my shell bouquet and him with the shell bout.

We love what we are doing for our wedding, and know our guests will have fun.  For me it feels not at all like a second wedding, but like us becoming a family.  Nothing second about anything! 


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