(Closed) Second Time Brides? How old were you?

posted 5 years ago in Encore
Post # 31
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

I was 29 when I got married. 37 when divorced (we’re still friends). 39 now and with my soul mate and love of my life! Not engaged yet, but we did by the stone for my ring. Now I wait… 🙂 

Post # 32
Member
3109 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Married at 24, separated at 30, met Fiance 6 months later, divorce finalized at 32, engaged just before turning 33 and will get married to the love of my life at 34.

I was definitely too young the first time around in the sense that I hadn’t experienced much from life, he was my first serious relationship so I had no concept of what I really wanted from a partner, I didn’t understand that our problems weren’t normal, I didn’t know I could do better. I hung on for a long time trying to work it out, and he finally left me. As soon as I started to date again, I realized how wrong he was for me in every single way, how I deserved to be truly loved and respected and treated well and that not only did I deserve that but that I could find it. I met Fiance while dating casually, really not looking for “the one” and was just blown away by how amazing he was, and how easy being with him was, after a few months I knew we were meant to be. We are now planning our wedding and to me it truly feels like my only wedding because he is the one.

Post # 33
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Ever After Banquet Hall

My first husband and I were 19 when we got married. A lot of people said we were too young. Several couples from high school got married that same year. Of those, I know 2 couples got divorced (but one of them got back together as soon as the divorce was final LOL), and the other 2 are still together.

My husband and I had some rough patches. We did separate for about 6 months at about the 15 year mark. We got back together, never actually filing for divorce. 4 years after that, he passed away. 

So, I was a widow at 38 years old. I had moments where I thought I was too young to be alone forever, and others I thought I was too old for the whole dating thing.

Luckily I found my Fiance while “testing the waters” on match.com. It was fate as his membership was about to expire (it expired the day after our first date) and he was getting fed up with it and wasn’t going to renew it. He is 2 years older than me (I will be almost 41 when we get married, he will be 43), and has been married…well..a few times. Did that scare me? Of course at first. But, I know what I have with him is nothing like what I had with my first husband.

For 19 years I was….I guess the best word would be “content” with my first husband. I thought I was happy, so technically, in that moment, I guess I was. I did love him with all my heart, and my world crashed around me when he died, but how I feel now with my FI? It’s something different alltogether. 

I know, I seem to be talking in circles. I guess what I’m trying to say is that everyone is different and age really doesn’t mean a lot when it comes to long lasting marriages. It’s all about the love you share and your willingness to tough out the hard times to enjoy the good times even more 🙂

Post # 34
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Got married at 25 after ignoring ALL the warning signs (compulsive lying, narcissistic idiot with low self-esteem and control issues) and having a son with him who was a year old at the time. Had a second son a year later and should have left then, especially since he almost missed his birth. Divorced 26 years later and met someone who truly GETS me and I get him. We used to work together more than 10 years ago and reconnected as my marriage was on its last leg and his wife suddenly passed away. I will be 52 when we marry in June 2016. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  tytam2016.
Post # 35
Member
1579 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
Rxbee90:  Thank you for the good wishes.  My parents were married for 44 years and my original husband’s were married for 57.  We were both late babies.

Soon to be Fi’s parents were married for 43.  So, he understands the beauty of a long lasting relationship and making it work.

It’s scary to think about leaving myself that vulnerable again; I’m doing it, but it’s definately a scary prospect.

Post # 36
Member
1651 posts
Bumble bee

Ill probably be around 61 next time I get married.

Post # 37
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Engaged at 21, married at 23, divorced at 25. He was 10 years my senior. I did not think I was too young at the time but I knew before the wedding that I was making the wrong decision. Perhaps had I been older I would have had the emotional maturity to call off the wedding. I was too caught up in being judged by friends and family. I was judged, probably more harshly, for divorcing but it was the best decision I could have made. I’m now 27 and have been happily married to my best friend for a year now. I agree with PP. If there is any doubt don’t do it.

Post # 38
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI

Married at 20 and divorced at 25. I knew walking down the aisle that he was wrong for me but afraid to run. My dad said its not too late to turn around as we walked down together but I felt it was too late.  Jos parents were awful to me and that played a huge role.  He chose them (and to move in and later marry a friend of mine before the divorce was final. 

Now I’m happily married for almost a year (got married at 29). 

Post # 39
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Was 21 when I married first, too young and for the wrong reasons! Lasted 4 years, got divorced at 25.

15 years later…. I’m 40 and will still be 40 when I marry my sweetie next year 

Post # 40
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - The Tall Ship Elissa, Galveston, TX

I was 28, old enough to know better, when I got married the first time, especially with all the crap I put up with with him before that point, but was a special kind of stupid at the time, I guess… Been divorced for 17 years now. My honey and I will both be 50 when we get married, and there’s just no comparison between that past marriage and the amazing relationship I’m in now! I can definitely appreciate it a lot more. 🙂

 

Post # 41
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

1st time around I was 20. Had been with ex-H since I was 16. We were married for 8 years, I was 28 when we divorced.

2nd time around I will be 32.

Post # 42
Member
2339 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Married at 19, divorced at 31. Met my husband at 33, got together at 34 and married him in June at 44. 

My first husband was a whirlwind romance, if I’d known him longer and seen him with his friends more I’d have realised what a prat he is. As you can see from the dates, I wasn’t going to make that mistake again!

Post # 43
Member
7 posts
Newbee

First marriage I was 28; I’ll be 32 this time around. First marriage was definitely short–we just weren’t ready. We ignored a gazillion red flags, I pretty much dragged him kicking and screaming into it, and surprise! It wasn’t sustainable.

I’ve been with Fiance for a year and a half, and it’s so incredibly different. He’s so excited and positive about marriage, talks about and plans for the future, and is so ready. I don’t regret marrying my ex–he really was my best friend, and we had the best of intentions–but I can see how my relationship now is the right, long-term decision for me.

Post # 44
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

First marriage I was 20.  We were married for 10 years and have great kids and parent well together.  We had some teribbly stressful things happen that mostly lead to our divorce.  I got married again when I was 33 (terrible mistake).  While grieving things that happened in my first marriage I met someone and soon after became pregnant.  I knew he wasn’t the one but tried for 8 years to make things work. He was adulterous, abusive, mean and well, just not a nice person. It was a mistake, I knew it from the beginning but after he was abusive over and over, admitted to the psych hospital a couple times, and still refused help, I knew I had to do what was best for my children and I. 

 

So, I have known my Fiance for about 10 years. His wife left him after she met someone else. He has been divorced about 5 or so years.  We have been together for about 2.5.  We are such good friends and he is an awesome dad.  We cannot wait to get married and spend the rest of our lives together.  I will be 42 and he 48 when we get married next year.

Sometimes I feel strange about the fact that I am 40 and getting married for the third time.  But then I remember, its been a long road, and no matter what has happened, I deserve to be happy.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  nhnurse1.
Post # 45
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I got married at 17 for the first time, and divorced at 22, I’m 26 currently and getting remarried in a few weeks 🙂 

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