Post # 1
Anyone else out there planning their second wedding? If so, what are you doing or not doing that varies from the “norm”? This will be both of our second marriages (both in our 30s) and while I had a fairly traditional (but smallish) first wedding, Fiance had a civil ceremony (his ex’s wishes) with only their parents and witnesses present and a reception immediately after. So we both really want a church wedding, which we’re planning on, with a few variations. For one thing, how many of you are planning to have your dad walk you down the aisle? If it’s okay with all involved, I think I’d rather have both sets of parents walk in together ahead of the bridal party and enter the church on my own. Hard to explain but I feel like I’m more independent now and have a clearer vision of who I am and where I want to go with Fiance rather than a little girl being entrusted to my Fiance by my parents. I hope that makes sense.
Also, what kind of reception are you having? Right now we’re planning a cake and punch deal at the church afterwards. We’re sort of limited on how far we can scale back on the guest list because we both come from large extended families, we both have a lot of people who have been really important in our lives and have supported/encouraged us to who we are now, and we met at work (25ish employees) so a blanket invite there is kind of a must.
Lastly, how are you handling gifts/showers? The girls at work want to throw me a shower and we really don’t need anything! Plus we plan to move from MI to NC next summer and will need to downsize to do so. Do we register somewhere anyway? I really want to convay to people that we just want them there and don’t want/need gifts. What’s a polite way to do that?
I know that was a lot but I guess I’ve just had a lot swirling in my mind! TIA!
Post # 3
I’m planning my second wedding and I’m 40 years old. My fiance is 29 years old and has never been married so he wants the whole shebang, which we are doing. I also have two children – my daughter will be my Maid/Matron of Honor and my son will walk me down the aisle, be a groomsman and plans to do a guitar solo during the ceremony.
We decided against a church wedding and are having an outdoor wedding at a golf and country club, followed immediately by an indoor reception. I’m not wearing a veil and I’m wearing ivory instead of white, but that’s honestly more because of my personal preference rather than what is “right” for a second time bride. Otherwise, this wedding will be bigger and more extravangant than my first. We’re paying for everything ourselves, minus the venue deposit, which his mother paid.
I’m in a similar situation with gifts. I don’t expect any gifts, nor do I feel comfortable registering for gifts. I don’t imagine I will have any showers either. Since this is my fiance’s first wedding, we do plan to register just so there are some items for those that do want to give something (plus his grandmother is insisting, which is fine). We plan to upgrade some kitchen items that we’ve had forever.
I think it would be perfectly polite to tell people you don’t expect or need gifts BUT be prepared that some or most will still want to get you something (which is why we’re going to go ahead and register).
Post # 4
This will be my 2nd wedding, his 1st. We made the decision to elope, sort of. We’ll be taking a road trip with the kids to one of our favorite small towns and getting married by the Justice of the Peace there, just us and the kids. Then when we get home, we will have the regular big reception with our friends and family.
Post # 5
This is my second marriage also, but my Fiance first. The first time I was 19 and pregnant, trying to do the “right thing”. This time I’m doing everything that I want and nothing that anyone else says is right. But we are having an outdoor wedding and a reception,dinner, and dance. His family would like me to have a shower and register for gifts, but I don’t need anything I have been on my own since I was 18 and honestly I don’t need anymore stuff. So on the invites I am putting the couple requests no gifts. Even though some people think I should I just don’t want to ask anyone in my family to get me anything a second time. I figure if his family gets us anything I will send a thank you card but not gonna register. There is no good way to say If you are my family please don’t bring a gift, but if you are his here is where we are registered.
Post # 6
This was our 2nd for both of us, we invited our closest freinds and family and went to Vegas, we had a beautiful chapel ceremony then a wonderful dinner at a very nice restaurant. We had 10 guests total not including us. It was wonderful for many reasons and different than what either one of us had the first time around.
Post # 7
This is my 2nd marriage as well, but FI’s first. The first time around I went to cancun to get married with my close family and best friends (about 20 ppl)
This time around I’m planning a more traditional wedding and doing all the things I wasn’t able to do with the first one. I’m wearing white and basically treating this as my first. I see it as unfair to my Fiance and his family for me to do things differently just b/c it’s my 2nd time. I actually try to forget that part of my past so that makes things a little easier on me lol
Post # 9
2nd timer here too…
my first marriage was a church wedding and i wore a meringue dress……and it was all pretty basic weddingy type thing. my partner and his wife ran away to get married alone, then turned up and told everyone.
we are having a destination wedding in turkey, and our 4 kids (we have 2 each) will all be our bridesmaids. (well 3 are girls, and my sons girlfriend makes 4)
as my darling dad is not with us anymore, my 26 year old son will walk me down the aisle.
we are just all going over for 2 weeks and intend on spending as much time with each other as possible, like we used to when all the kids were little and we used to go on holidays.
we are not having a reception per se’ but a meal in a beachside restaurant…….there will only be 8 of us!
i am arriving to the wedding on horseback, and my girlies in a coach and horses…
i am getting married on the beach and we are having a small microlite plane drop rose petals down on us after the ceremony ….cant wait for that bit!
the MAIN difference is, we are actually getting legally married before we travel to avoid the red tape, just us two, the turkey wedding will be a symbolic ceremony, but thats the wedding i will class as my REAL wedding.
Post # 10
This is my 2nd, his first.
First time around (9 years ago) I had a wedding near our home in Miami, ended up as a destination for many of our guests. It was a Hawaiian wedding, I let my mother make way too many decisions and nothing about the day really fit me except the initial notion ofthe theme.
This time – wedding where we live, where 90% of the guest list is from. The ceremony is much more important to me, the dress was, and I’m not allowing my mother to bully me.
We did register for gifts, even though I’ve been married, much of those items didn’t come with me for various reasons, and I wanted us to have the same good start as any other couple.
My mother decided to throw me a shower, which I was not expecting, but many of her family asked so we’re doing one.
Had my parents not offered us a reception where I work, we would have had a much smaller reception at a restaurant we both love.
This way we get the ceremony and big reception Fiance has always wanted, I get more control over the selections (important when you’re a wedding planner by trade!) and everything about it screams US 🙂
We all deserve these weddings just as much as the first- so enjoy every second of it all!