Second wedding advice

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Go for it!

All the second weddings I’ve been to (at least 8 off the top of my head) have been ‘proper’ weddings with dresses, bridesmaids, weddingy decor & themes, Love, joy and bloody good parties… including my own 🙂

Most of the brides were in their 40s, and all but 2 of them/us wore traditional wedding dresses. Why the heck not!

Post # 3
Member
2652 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think you should do whatever you want! If your friends can’t be happy for you regardless of how exactly you re-marry, they’re definitely not real friends.

My guy and I, both previously divorced, are doing an intimate wedding and probably a weekend away with just our immediate families – parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. We just don’t really want to go through the whole bigger wedding thing again – especially because my first wedding was only in 2013 so it feels very recent. But I wouldn’t judge anyone else who does a big wedding again! Weddings are fun so I’d be psyched to go to your second one. 

Post # 4
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’d say, you do what you want to do!

I got married to my second husband about 15 months ago. We did the party, the traditional white dress, the Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man. Granted, this was my husband’s first marriage, but we felt the same way as you. We have lots of friends and family who wanted to celebrate with us and we wanted to celebrate with them! So maybe I’m partial, but I don’t think it’s weird at all. I’d do what ever makes you happy and if people are going to try to make you feel bad about it, I’d suggest they don’t come.

Post # 5
Member
7634 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Agree with pp, do what you want!! My mom’s friend who is about 60 was recently a bridesmaid for her 60ish year old friend, and that friend had a massive traditional wedding wiht like 8 bridesmaids, all of whom wore glamorous floor-length bridesmaids dresses! I thought the whole thing sounded so fabulous. I say go for it!!! Your true friends and family are just going to be happy to see you looking so happy on your day, especially after all the grief you’ve experienced recently. 

Post # 6
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Pro tip: don’t invite those wet blankets to your awesome wedding. They don’t deserve to be there if all they can focus on are clothes instead of love and fun. 

Post # 7
Member
979 posts
Busy bee

My second wedding was earlier this month and we choose to make it more casual, but I still wore a long, white wedding dress (made up for dress regrets from my first wedding). We opted not to do a wedding party but had our children stand up next to us during the ceremony (my sons walked me down the aisle).

Lots of people get remarried – it’s nothing to be ashamed of! Celebrate your new marriage the way you and your Fiance want to!

Post # 8
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Just thinking about your OP – I ac tually find your friends’ attitude that a second wedding isn’t a ‘real wedding’ really offensive!  As they clearly don’t support your marrying again, I hope they won’t be at the ‘wedding’ at all.

Post # 9
Member
366 posts
Helper bee

I’m mid 40s and divorced, and I plan on wearing a wedding gown and having a wedding …in a church! My boyfriend and I are very active in our church and just because we had cheating spouses shouldn’t mean we can’t have OUR union in the church if we choose to (and get permission). I choose not to let other people dictate how i live my life. You’ll never make everyone happy. There are people who will look at a FIRST marriage and say “why are you having a wedding and wearing a white gown, you’ve been living together for 2 years…”. Some people are just negative, and will always see the negative.

I choose to try to live my life positive and only see the good things… and also i don’t give a sh!t what OTHER people do, it doesn’t affect MY life, so I try to just not judge others (Im not perfect, but I try really hard not to judge others). You see so much judgment – on here especially – where people have such a strong reactions to things that …..dont affect them at all, seriously, why do they even care so much. Don’t let people tell you what you can and cant do, have a giant white wedding if you want to! You’re not hurting anyone, if people don’t want to attend because it’s a second wedding, then they don’t attend! 

Post # 10
Member
9012 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It’s your first wedding to each other so I really don’t get their attitude at all! Just because you are a secondtime bride or groom does not mean that you can’t have a big wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
4672 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
mockingowl :  Who gives a F#&k what anyone thinks. Your wedding day, you’re paying= you do what you want. My friend is getting married a second time around. Her first wedding was when she was 20 years and not much money so it was basically a courthouse ceremony and lunch at a simple restaurant. Now, she is marrying a new guy with a career and a daughter in college. She will be having all the elements of a traditional wedding. As far as I’m aware, no one is batting an eyelash. Life is too damn short to worry about x and x is gonna say. It will just get you nowhere.

Post # 13
Member
5946 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
mockingowl :  I’ve had a 2nd wedding and I am in the camp that says who cares what others think. I really think people need to live their lives and others need to be way less judgey. Eff em! I wore a white dress. Even my own unsupportive-never-should’ve-had-a-kid mother said, “Aren’t you way beyond wearing white?” Not now that you said that! BOOM, long white dress.

Post # 14
Member
285 posts
Helper bee

This will be my second wedding, and I’m planning to have an even bigger one this time. The way I see it, this guy is the *real* love of my life, soul mate, etc., so I want to celebrate our union even more than I celebrated my first wedding. I am young (26), but I don’t think that really should matter.

Post # 15
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

Do what you want!!! 

This will be my 2nd wedding and my fiancee’s 1st. We’re eloping but still plan on dressing up. This is not their wedding, its your day!

 

ETA: Needing an appointment for wedding dress trials are very common. Actually any bridal store I’ve been to needed an appointment. 

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