(Closed) Second wedding

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m not sure how to respond.  You’ve been married and you’re house has been set up for nine years.  I do think a vow renewal ceremony is a great idea though!  It’s just that I’m not sure how friends and family would embrace gifting a couple after nine years of marriage.

Maybe casually register.  Just mention it to friends and family.  I wouldn’t formally announce it.  I’ve been to house warmings, where couples who have been married for years buy a new home and then they get re-gifted.  But I have to be 100 percent honest with you I’ve never been to a vow renewal and known the couple to be registered.  But today it’s pretty much what you make it. 

I’m an encore remarrying next year.  We will register, but honestly we have so much already, although there will be some items that will overlap and some items that will need to be replaced. It’s gonna be both wierd and fun I can tell ya!  Combining households that is!  We are going to register for our everyday china..so we can have ONE thing that is ours!!!lol~

On a more serious note, I will be letting everybody know that if they choose to, they could forego a gift and donate to the American Heart Association in memory of my father.

Post # 5
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well since it’s a full wedding then register away imho!

Since this is a marriage recognized by your church and in essence (is this true cause I may be wrong here) like getting married for the first time go for it!

 

Post # 6
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My brother and sister-in-law did do a vow renewal they had been married for a year but ran to the court house. They did not have a reception either. On their one yr anniversary they decided to do a vow renewal and they registered and we even had a bridal shower for her. I don’t think anyone thought anything about them being registered. They also registered for some big pieces…like kitchenaid mixer, knife set, silverware and china set. They basically updated their kitchenware. They are also remodeling so Home Depot giftcards where a huge hit. I don’t think you have to do things as conventional as you once did.

Post # 7
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Just out of curiosity, are you allowed to have a Catholic wedding even though you are already married? I thought the church would not marry you if you are already married.

I say register and if you feel weird only let certain people know (key family and close friends who may ask). I assume people will realize that yfter 9 years you have accumulated a lot of stuff. Maybe you could put the word out that particular gift cards would be appriciated to upgrade something like electronics.

Post # 9
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I am not entirely certain you should have a registry at all. You are getting really married in the sacramental sense for the first time, but you’ve been legally married and living as married for nine years and have two children to show for it.

But you’re right, people will want to get you presents (and rightly so!), so how can you get what you want….I think a very limited registry may be the best compromise. Registering for china is a beautiful idea, and maybe a few other odds and ends that you actually need. But if you have a big registry people may think you’re present-grabbing (even though you’re not).  So that’s my two cents! Congrats on your wedding (I got married in a Catholic ceremony too and it’s so special)

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