Post # 1
I’d like to start a thread on this because I am really struggling with this and maybe there are more than just me.
I have 1 child, he’s about to turn 3.
Took 1 try to get pregnant with him, I was 35.
We’ve now been trying for one year for #2 with no luck. I’m now about to turn 39.
I’ve tried everything I can think of to increase our chances but still no luck.
Nothing wrong with us, just a case of ‘bad luck’.
I’m really struggling right now because I have to deal with people getting pregnant to the left and right of me, most recently my step-sister and SIL. (I have had private cries after hearing thier news) It’s really hard to share in their joy.
I’m starting to lose hope and hate how big I’m watching our son get with no sibling.
My husband still thinks it can happen so I’m hanging on to his positivity like a life line.
Worst thing I can hear right now? Be glad you have one. Some people have none. I know…..
Anyone else in the same boat?
Post # 2
Sunshine09 : have you considered seeing a reproductive endocrinologist? If you were able to get pregnant and carry to term once, you have a good chance of doing it again.
Your issue could be something that’s easily fixable. For instance, I’m around your age and I needed progesterone supplements to help me carry to term. The same is true for another friend of mine who had multiple miscarriages.
Post # 3
I am not in the same boat (haven’t started TTC yet), but my mom had this happen to her. She had me when she was 27, and then struggled with infertility and could never get pregnant again. I know it was incredibly hard for her over the years. I think she wanted to adopt a second child, but my dad couldn’t get his head around the idea, so I wound up being an only child.
But I will say that, while I often wished I had siblings for companionship, growing up as an “only” is not the end of the world, and in fact definitely has its perks! I wish you peace and happiness no matter what happens.
Post # 4
Sunshine09 : Friends of our had secondary fertility issues. They concieved DS really easily but it took injectible meds for them to get pregnant with their daughter.
Post # 5
Sunshine09 : I am having some of the same issues as you. We conceived my daughter on the first try when I was 33. I am not 35 and have been trying for 5 cycles and off BC and NTNP for an additional 2 cycles (7 cycles total), and no luck. It is very upsetting, and I often get that same reponse, that I should be grateful because I have one. And I AM grateful! I love my daughter with all my heart, but I always dreamed of two kids, and when I see my daughter, it makes me sad to think that she may not get a brother or sister. I am sorry you are dealing with this. My husband is optomistic as well and I am trying really hard to be hopeful, but each month, I get a little more down about it. You are not alone.
Post # 6
*** warning rant ***
Sunshine09 : my doctor litrally just said this to me earlier… ive always liked her but in that moment everything went red
‘be glad you have one, most people are only suppose to have one’
what the hell does that mean, its not like im selfish and wanting my 6th/7th/8th/9th/10th… im not octomum or a duggar I just want to give my 8 year old at least 1 living sibling so he has family to spend his life with… we have very few family members, he has no cousins and is unlikely to as aunt had their tubes tied and once us and our parents/siblings are gone there will be no one left but him – no one judges a fertile couple for having 2 kids (or 3)
and people dont know how hard it is to look a child in the face and say you dont know when he ask ‘why wont god give me a brother or sister like all my friends?’ litrally EVERY kid we know has a sibling and many have 3 or 4 (catholic community)
another pet hate the doctor came out with today too is ‘your young, you have time yet’ – erm ive been trying for 10 years altogther… time means nothing if nothing happens and my child is getting older by the day, yes I could have 10+ years of fertility left and could have a spontanius pregnancy in 10 years but my son would be old enough to be his own siblings dad ffs
I deliberatly started young for a reason, it wasnt bad planning or a fucking accident it was so I had time to get help (because I knew this would be a problem given family history of infertility) only to find they wont help because im young, theres no winning
why should people in their 20s have to wait till 35 to get taken seriously with this stuff?
they take it so relaxed that they hadnt even been checking my test results, whats th point of tests if they dont even look at the results?
I went in to say I KNOW I havent ovulated because my cycles have dropped to 2 weeks and they checked back through results and I havent ovulated for over 6 months but no one said or did anything… what the point of medical monitoring if they dont tell you the most basic fact that you cant get pregnant?
sex is no use without a fucking egg… then they qouted me nearly £500 for clomid luckly found a second doctor that sorted it all in under an hour and only charged £40
Post # 7
I really don’t think that you should have to be happy with one if that isn’t the family you wanted/planned on. I have never heard of someone telling a pregnant woman “why couldn’t you be happy with one?”.
Have you and your husband been to the Dr for fertility testing?
Post # 8
I’m right there with you all as well! I conceived my daughter 6 years ago on the first try (with ExH) Darling Husband and I have been trying for a year now with no luck. All of his numbers came back good, so he is not the issue. I had a lap and hsg done for suspected endo last month and found that both of my tubes were completely blocked. My dr was able to get one cleared, but not the other. Just finished my 5 days of Clomid and go for an ultrasound tomorrow and will be doing the trigger shot. I have everything crossed that it can happen with only one tube. It’s very frustrating when it was so easy the first time around!
Post # 9
I am in the same boat as you. I got pregnant with #1 on first cycle four years ago. We got pregnant a second time on the first cycle but it ended in MMC. We’re still trying. It’s been 11 cycles. Tests on both my husband and I came back normal and I am ovulating.
krpayne87 : I also had a lap and HSG done two weeks ago and one ovary was completely covered with endo. The other fallopian tube was blocked. So…. we’re on to the next cycle praying that we have better luck.
My daughter keeps praying every night for a new baby. And she tells me that she is saving her paci for a new baby. I feel like I failed her. When I lost the previous baby, we had already told her we were pregnant. And I had to tell her we weren’t anymore.
I understand what you’re feeling.
Post # 10
btob17 : I totally relate to this. I get they you’re young comment so much…. GRRRR
Sunshine09 : I’m sorry you are going through this. I would go see a doctor and get some testing. There may be an easy fix.
I am suffering from secondary infertility. I had my son 2 years ago and while it took 8 months to get pregnant, it was an easy uneventful pregnancy. When he was 9 months old we decided to try for another one (last May). After 4 months of trying I got pregnant and it was ectopic and turned into a nightmare. We got the green light to TTC in January and I’ve been TTCing without luck since. It is so disheartening. It seems as though everyone around me (work, family, friends) is pregnant. I want another baby and I want my son to have a brother or sister. It is so tough.
Post # 11
krpayne87 : What do they do for blocked tubes?
Post # 12
Soon_to_be_wed : I’m not really sure there is exactly anything they can do , except my dr tried forcing more dye through when doing the hsg and was able to get one side to clear, the other wouldn’t budge. Thankfully this was during my lap so I wasn’t awake.
Post # 13
krpayne87 : Oh wow! I had no idea!
Post # 14
Sunshine09 : I’m sorry you’re having trouble. I have sooo many friends that have been in the same boat as you. One actually tried for 4 years to get pregnant with her second and my other two close friends tried for 2 years for their second. Each of these three friends did eventually seek medical help. When they did 2 of them were told they couldn’t find any reason for them not conceiving! With a little intervention all three have gone on to successful pregnancies. I would look into it.
Post # 15
Sunshine09 : Hi friend. I’m glad I found this thread. My son is just about 28 months. Took us quite some time to get him (about 19 months). We have been trying for 6 months now with no luck. I’m trying to tell myself I must not get pregnant easy (took me 8 months each time I got pregnant, one loss) but I’m terrified that now that I’m older, it won’t happen.
I’m sorry you are having trouble. Let’s lean on each other! It’s hard for people to relate, especially if you already have one!