(Closed) Secret Engagement?

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Nikki_Woodstock:  Congratulations! πŸ™‚

It blows that you cannot share your excitment with friends and familiy right now but you will get there! Remember that your SO wants to spend the rest of his life with you! That is definately worth being happy about! Also, you could talk with your SO about having a very short engagement and get married soon after you make the engagement official. Start planning away and enjoy your time as a (Secret)fiancee. 

Post # 4
1032 posts
Bumble bee

A ring is a hunk of metal with maybe some kind of a rock on it. It doesn’t matter if you have one or not and it doesn’t make the two of you any more or less commited than those couples that have one.

Personally I do not understand why you should have to wait, except for the fact he has yet to talk to your family, and that is only because I’m traditional. On the other hand if he has already proposed and you’ve said yes does it really matter all the much if he does ask? Would it change your mind if they said no?

If you do want a ring go but a cheapie stand in and continue to save until you can get the ring that the two of you want. Until then shout it from the roof tops and share your great news!

It seems silly to keep it a secret.

Post # 5
295 posts
Helper bee

A ring does not make a proposal. You are engaged! I say talk to your families, then go public from there. Who knows, after talk to your parents, you may get an heirloom to wear. You never know!

Post # 6
208 posts
Helper bee

Yes! Mine is a secret too until he can also propose the traditional way.:/ I’m dying to tell people but I can’t!:(

Post # 7
9682 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Nikki_Woodstock:  I would announce my engagement even without a ring (I don’t care about rings though). It is a happy time and should not be a secret!

Post # 8
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Congratulations! Smile


Mine is a secret too!  We ordered the ring together today but it’s torture not being able to tell anyone, he proposed in August so it’ll have been about 3 months wait for us.  

Post # 9
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Nikki_Woodstock:  Hmmm… I think it’s a little weird that he asked but then doesn’t count that as “official”. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have discussed marriage, but he hasn’t asked the question. He will do that when he has a ring and we are ready to be “Official”. For us, we don’t want to be officially engaged until we’re within a year of a wedding date. At our age (mid30s/early40s) people will start putting major pressure once we announce being engaged, so we want to be ready to actively plan & have a date when we tell people. 

Post # 10
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

@Nikki_Woodstock:  We kept ours secret, but mostly because we wanted to tell everyone in person. I’m in one state, he’s in another, and our parents are in two different states as well.

We had our “talk” in August 2011, and I consider that we’ve been engaged since then. We told my parents in October…actually he did the whole thing and surprised me with the ring and everything. At that point, my parents, sister, and best friend, and his cousin only, knew.

Thanksgiving we went to see his parents and announced it to them.

It was a little torturous, and he almost blew it once, but it was kind of fun! πŸ™‚

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