"Secret" Social Media Accounts – How Would You Feel?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you feel like something was up if you discovered "secret" social media accounts?

    Yes, I would be suspicious

    No, I wouldn't see this as cause for concern

    It would depend on my SO's explanation for the other account(s)

    Other (explain in comments)

  • Post # 2
    Member
    5081 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I guess it depends on the account, what it’s used for, and whether they’re actively hiding it or just didn’t mention it. Like if my husband had two full and active facebook accounts, one that I’m aware of, and one that I’m not, that would be suspicious. But if my husband made a linkedin account and didn’t tell me, that wouldn’t be a big deal. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    2557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I guess that would depend on whether they used that account or not and if they do, what’s it used for? Was it just an account made a long time ago that they forgot the username/password and never use, or is it active? If it’s active, is it an account for a hobby? I recently found out that my husband has a FB account under an alias that he uses to trade Dragon Ball Z cards lol. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1458 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    I said yes b/c my fi is adamant about not having snap or insta even though I’ve asked him about it.

    So it would be really out of his character to have them suddenly. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    4195 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

    It would bother me that I didn’t know about it. I think the purpose of the account would really determine whether I was suspicious of it. If I found out that SO had a twitter account that I wasn’t aware of for his business, that would be understandable. But if he has a personal “secret” account, I would wonder why he needed the extra account and why it had to be secret. In that case, I would be highly suspicious and would want him to show me/give me access to the account (we have an open door policy on messages & social media, so this wouldn’t be an extraordinary request)

    Post # 6
    Member
    10450 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    If he’s keeping it a secret, as in purposefully hiding it from me, yes that’s a problem.

    If it’s just a random account, he doesn’t use much or just never mentioned I wouldn’t care at all.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1012 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    When you say you knew of one account or set of accounts, do you mean you knew they had facebook but didn’t know they had twitter, or you knew they had this facebook account but didn’t know they had 3 other facebook accounts. If you knew about facebook because you are on facebook, and it just never came up that they have twitter, this isn’t a big deal. 

    If you’re talking about socs I think there are two ways for this to go:

    1) They have exactly two fully active fb accounts. One you know about, they friend their family, co-workers, friends, whatever the normal friends for them are. Then their second account has nothing but bots, exs, and scantily clad women. Or, they’re smart and its not quite a skeleton account, but it doesn’t have their regular bf friends and they use it to message women. 

    2) They have several accounts. Probably because they get banned alot and so they keep accounts on rotation. You know about this “set of accounts” but they forgot to mention one. Because they can’t keep track. These accounts will have roughly the same friends and roughly the same purposes. 

     

    It is also possible that he has a account that he friends co-workers because people get pressured to do that, and one where he speaks uncensored. In this case I think you should be friended on both, but maybe he’s dumb. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    10479 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Depends on if he was trying to keep it a secret or if it was something that just never came up. Like, I don’t have a Snapchat but I know my husband does even though I don’t have one because he’s mentioned it in passing. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    946 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    It depends what it’s being used for. I started a secondary instagram account a few years back to post my fitness-related pictures, but have stopped using it. I don’t know if my fiance knows about it because I had stopped using it once we met. So something like that wouldn’t bother me.

    Now if I found out he had an additional Instagram/Snapchat account and was actively using it and actively hid it, then I’d be suspicious and want to see what he was doing.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3098 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I trust my husband so this alone wouldn’t make me suspicious. I know my husband had 2 FB accounts—a personal account and one for political stuff. He very well might have other social media accounts because he likes to get involved in political things. What kinds of accounts are these? Do you have other reasons to suspect your husband?

    Post # 11
    Member
    503 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    It’s kinda ridiculous that so many of you are nitpicking this. You know what the OP means. If my SO had a fake or secret social media account in addition to his regular one, then yes, I’d be suspcious.

    Why do people act so dense??

    Post # 12
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee

    Intentionally kept secret- yes, if my husband had that type of social media account I would be suspicious. I’m not talking about forgotten about accounts, an old account that is never used, or an account I just didn’t happen to know about.

    Post # 13
    Member
    11129 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    View original reply
    somedaymrsj :  

    There are people who actually use social media to promote their businesses.  Thus, having more than one account wouldn’t get my attention.  And some people create different personas for different interests, especially when there is incongruence. Thus, you have the Harley rider who is seriously into breeding canaries.

    It would all hinge on what is being done with those accounts.  What is being posted?

    The secretiveness is the other giant red flag.

    Have you gone on the sites do see what your SO is doing?

    Post # 15
    Member
    7439 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Woof, well until I got to your 2nd to last paragraph I was gonna say that it sounds like an innocent mistake and he probably just forgot his old password, no big deal. But given the fact that he has a history of shady behavior with other women (do you know if that was on social media?), I’m less inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt here.

    ETA: Also, it sounds like she was blocked from his new account? That is also super suspicious. 

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