Post # 1
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
Last night my Fiance mentioned to me the possibility of getting married early in the courthouse and not telling anyone so that he can be on my insurance. I think it would be amazingly intimate and I really want to do it. Plus being married being a secret would be awesome to me. However, how terrible is it that our actual ceremony reception wouldn’t be for another around say eleven months? Would we be celebrating our marraige on 11.11.11 or another day now?
Post # 3
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
Wow. That’d be a fairly big secret to keep! Would your families freak? Obv it is v romantic running off on your own to get married, would you still want to go through with the Big Wedding then after? Especially so long after!
Post # 4
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
I’m sure I would want to go through with it. I mean if it is a secret we would be keeping it a secret so that we could still have the big wedding ceremony. It would be awesome. I think they might freak but I don’t know. We don’t even know how much we are thinking about it yet. But I keep thinking about how adventurous it would be.
Post # 5
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
You can do whatever you want–including considering your secret ceremony an elopement, telling everyone after the fact, and STILL having a big celebration later, if you so like.
(I know you want to get married, but just fyi in our state at least, you can do a domestic partnership and be on each-other’s insurance)
Post # 6
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
@JennyW1: Interesting, so you have to be living together for a certain amount of time for that to happen?
Post # 7
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
It varies from state-to-state and there are various requirements (age, can you be a domestic partner with your cousin, that sort of thing)–among other things, NY requires that you have the same address, but I don’t think that it stipulates the amount of time that you have had to be living at that address.
Post # 8
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
I think it would be super romantic to have a secret wedding that is just for the two of you and then having the big one with the family later.
Post # 9
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
I posted about this yesterday.
We had the same issue and got married in August at city hall. My parents and a good friend of ours were there and after we all went out for a very nice dinner. My little sister and her bf wanted to be there too but since it was the middle of the week they couldn’t make it (she had just started a new job). Fiance told his father and step-mother, but otherwise no one else knows. We are having our big church wedding in April. The ceremony was very sweet. Everyone cried. It is a hard secret to keep, but the insurance was very very important. We are excited about our big wedding. Good Luck with whatever you choose!
Just thought I would add that our families were very supportive, they agreed that Fiance getting on my issurance was the most important factor. We had been talking about it for a few weeks when one night we were out for drinks with my parents and my mom happened to ask if Fiance had insurance and we told her how he had lost them and were think about going to city hall. I thought she would freaked but she just turned to Fiance and said “GO to city hall!”. They love him so much that they want to make sure he has the proper coverage too.
Post # 10
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
We secretly got married and it was very special and intimate. No one knew except for my bff/MOH as she was our witness and took pictures. It was such an amazing day. We had no rings to exchange and nothing fancy b/c he had to go back to work, but later that night we celebrated and then went to our homes. We didnt even live together for a few more months.. but it was great to know that he was my husband and i was his wife. I loved it! i finally told my parents and they were happy.. we are still having our big church wedding next year and really excited!
Post # 11
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
We’re getting married at the courthouse for insurance purposes but it will NOT be a “secret” because we don’t believe in that (sorry). I feel that once you’re married, you’re married, period…no do-overs or weddings pretending you’re not already married.
We’re still having a big reception next year on 11.11.11, but are making it very clear that we’ll have been married for almost a year at that point…I think honesty is the best policy, but obviously you can do whatever you want!
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