(Closed) Secrets from FI – Anyone out there that DOESN’T share everything?

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: WOULD YOU KEEP SECRETS FROM FI?
    YES, IF HE WILL FREAK OUT AND DUMP ME : (7 votes)
    14 %
    YES, BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS IN THE PAST REMAINS IN THE PAST : (14 votes)
    29 %
    NO, BECAUSE HE HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW EVERYTHING : (8 votes)
    16 %
    NO, BECAUSE OUR LOVE IS STRONGER THAN OUR PAST/ PRESENT SECRETS : (20 votes)
    41 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    14495 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Nope, sorry, I feel the opposite.  I think that if you love someone enough to spend the rest of your life with them, then there should be no secrets.  If something that comes out will ruin a relationship than it is not the right relationship.  I would be so pissed if something came out later, after marriage, that would have meant that I would not have married.  I would be so much more pissed if I found out that I had a relationship that had been built on a lie and would totally feel that I had been tricked and duped.  I would feel humiliated.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1003 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We have no secrets. I am dead serious. I have told my Fiance about all my past relationships in detail and he has done the same. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t feel like I have “secrets” from Fiance necessarily.  There are things in both of our pasts that we’ve not shared with each other because it really doesn’t matter.  Things like how many previous partners and such.  It’s honestly something I don’t want to know about Fiance and don’t feel that he needs to know about me.

    With things in present day to day life, I don’t hide anything from him.  No secrets/no lies.  But again, I don’t feel the need to share every detail of every day with him. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    We don’t have any secrets.. and really the things that were hard/hurt the other have helped us grow in our communication and be understanding  to have a safe place for one another to come… I mean if we can’t come to each other and know that we have support no matter what than I wouldn’t feel very confident in sticking it through with him (that’s just me)

    Post # 8
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @samora I can understand that… I’m thankful that my Fiance and I aren’t like that… he’s never used something from my past & I don’t bring up things that he’s told me, so we’ve been/are able to be as open as we are.

    Post # 9
    Member
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My Fiance knows EVERYTHING because it has shaped who I am and so if I react a certain way to something he knows why.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    No.  No no no.  I don’t agree.  Honesty is what keeps trust alive and a relationship is built on trust.

    Post # 11
    Member
    296 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I voted for the last option.

    Fiance knows all the details that no one else knows about my past relationships. I told him early on, in part because I wanted him to know my flaws, and to see that he could love me despite my flaws. 

    I don’t necessarily think he’s entitled to know. I just want him to know me.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3947 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I dont’ think it’s a question of being honest – just choosing to share certain things.

    If asked, I would tell him.  But I’m not going to go out of my way and tell him things that could quite possibly hurt him – especially if it pertained to my past relationships or sexual things with other people.

    The topic ‘Secrets from FI – Anyone out there that DOESN’T share everything?’ is closed to new replies.

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