(Closed) Secular Ceremony – offering wishes

posted 5 years ago in Secular
Post # 3
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I’m having a hard time picturing this. So people are expected to pop up and say something, then your officiant says, “If you agree with this wish, please clap/ press pound/whhop it up/whatever” and then everyone claps? It seems kinda awkward and forced in my head. But maybe I’m picturing this incorrectly?

Post # 5
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

sounds very interesting, though i’m also having a hard time picturing it.  i think clapping is probably the way to go though.

Post # 6
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I think I’d just have the designated wishers all rise at the given cue, read their wishes one right after the other, and then be seated. Then the officiant could acknowledge the wishes with something like, “Thank you for those beautiful sentiments, and may we all wish bride and groom the …..” and move on to the next part of the ceremony. Applause and other such responses, IMO, make things seem like a show rather than a reverent ceremony joining two lives in marriage.

Post # 7
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@lovekiss:  im not sure they’re going for reverent, though. . . .

Post # 9
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@divrgrl0:  yeah, it definitely sounds like it. good for you! it should be how you want it. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

The only problem is that it could possibly seem a little childish…

Post # 12
Member
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@divrgrl0:  What about “Let it be so”? I mean… that’s basically what “Lord hear our prayer” is saying.

That said, I would maybe have people plan ahead. Or, hand out slips that were sort of “fill in the blank” like “My wish is for Bride and Groom is…” so it matches the response. Other wise people might just start babbling. 

Post # 13
Member
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

@divrgrl0:  I think the problem is separating the social from the religious, and the traditional from the religious and the social. When we remove religion, we are often left with responses which can seem vaguely bizarre because they appear non-contextual. This is definitely the case for responsarial things, which we associate (rightly or wrongly) with religion.

This doesn’t mean that you are wrong… just that this is a tricky line to walk. When I think of set responses, I either think of church, or of infant school, where we were taught to repeat certain phrases. For example:

“Good morning class”

“Good morning teacher!

“Are you ready to learn?”

“We are ready for you to teach us”

Maybe it’s just me, but if you remove religion as a context then I automatically think of infant school, LOL! This is made worse by the fact you want to use the word “wish”. To me, Tinkerbell in Peter Pan makes wishes. As an adult, I offer “signs of goodwill” or “best intentions”. I don’t offer wishes.

Meybe it’s just a miscommunication and a problem with semantics?

Post # 16
Member
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

@divrgrl0:  Sorry! The problem with the internet is that it makes it so easy for you to overshare and to be overly honest. you know? It makes you really uninhibited, which is not always right… or polite.

Have you considered “best wishes”? As in “we would like our guests to offer us their best wishes”? I don’t know why, but “best wishes” always seems much more mature to me than simply “wishes”, as turns of phrase go (?)

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