(Closed) Secular/Non-Denominational Cermony HELP!

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

I did this too ๐Ÿ™‚ My brother, who’s not ordained in anything but awesome brother-ness, officiated our wedding. The whole thing took about 20 minutes. We had one reading- DH’s grandma read Adam Sandler’s “Wanna Grow Old with You.” She chose that over a  Dr. Seuss “Oh, the Places You’ll Go” excerpt. We also did a sand ceremony. My brother and I wrote the whole thing, and Darling Husband and I wrote our own vows.

Google around– you’ll find TONS of options to make it super personal and fitting to you as a couple.

Post # 4
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We didn’t have a religious ceremony either, and wanted to make it personal. We didn’t include any readings (looking back I wish we had because our ceremony was a little too short) but we did to a love letter wine box. 

Personally, I’m not a fan of unity candles, sand, etc;  but the love letter wine box I really liked. We totally made it our own because the typical way this is done in the ceremony is with the bride and groom hammering nails into the box – well since I don’t like ceremonial actions like that, we simply placed our letters in the box and had our officiate explain what the box meant to us. 

Also, unlike the typical box ceremony, we did not talk about the potential for hardship – if you aren’t familiar the traditional reason for this love letter wine box is that the two of you write a letter to each other the day before your married, you then lock it in a box along with a bottle of wine to be opened on your 5 year anniversary – in the case that the couple has hardships or is considering divorce prior to the 5 year mark, you should open the box, read the letters, and drink the wine. For us, we didn’t want to present it that way, and instead talked about how important romance is in a relationship, and that after so many years together couples can tend to lose sight of keeping the romance alive, so this love letter box is a commitment to “keeping the spark” so to speak. We wrote this explanation all out and the officiate explained our meaning. 

The best part about the ceremony is the ability to make it yours. Have a symbol that is significant, recite lyrics to a song that explain your feelings, read a favorite poem, possibilites are endless. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 5
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’ll post my ceremony wording here when I’m at home (don’t have it on me). Ours was about 15 minutes, which was short but sweet and very personal (perfect for outdoors in the fall). We ended up just nixing readings, even though we felt pressure to include them at the beginning.

First, I’d recommend picking up the wedding ceremony planner. It has tons of advice about how to craft a ceremony from scratch and also has tons of sample wordings.

We started by making a Google Doc and wrote a rough outline of what our ceremony should look like: welcome words, personal words on the couple and their relationship (our officiant talked about how he knew us, how our relationship had grown, what the future might hold, our families, etc.), the “I Dos,” vows and exchange of rings, kiss, and pronouncement. Then, under each part of the outline, Darling Husband and I would paste in clips of wordings we had come across and liked. When we had a rough document, we sent it to the officiant to piece it together with some personal stories so that he could make it his own (I also sent him some links to full ceremonies for ideas, like Mrs. Cherry Pie’s.)

Post # 6
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@smrlovingrl:  We did the same thing. We actually had a friend do it and she was great, she put together the entire thing herself. She read a part out of Dr. Suess’ “The Places You’ll Go” and also if you watch our wedding video http://vimeo.com/45679154 and fast forward to 2:15 that’s a personal blurb our friend (officiant) said during the ceremony.

If you’re really interested she gave us a copy of the entire ceremony (which lasted 10-15 minutes but felt like forever!) which I can dig up and send to you so you can get an idea.

Post # 9
3194 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@smrlovingrl:  i wrote our whole ceremony for our friend-officiant, bc he’s never done it either. ๐Ÿ™‚ I can send you what I wrote if you want, but I recommend getting a whole mess of books from the library and finding sample texts online. Here’s our layout. 

Greeting/welcome by officiant 

3 readings

declaration of intent

vows (“do you take this man/woman” followed by “repeat after me”)

exchange of rings

pronouncement of marriage

Post # 13
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@smrlovingrl:  Thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚ below is the portion used in our ceremony

I hope you can read it ok, I didn’t want to type it all out ๐Ÿ˜›

and it was perfect because I gave my husband this book the morning of the wedding (it was a pain in the butt changing all the yous to we’lls) haha


Post # 14
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@smrlovingrl:  google that’s where I’m finiding my ideas

Post # 15
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

we spent a lot of time on our non-denominationl ceremony and i am in love with the final result!  we’re doing the hand ceremony, and then a lot of it is about love.  no mention of god, but he does say “blessed” once or twice- and i see that as spiritual, not so much religious.  i don’t want to post the whole shebang here, but i can email or PM it to anyone interested.


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