(Closed) Seeing An Ex BF After Marriage (Kind of a Vent)

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i had an ex boyfriend “accidentally” email me about 2 weeks after i got engaged. he sent me a forward email with a survey or something. i emailed him back and asked him to please delete me from his address book (why am still there anyway? we broke up FIVE years ago!). he emailed me back with a “oh sorry it was an accident, how’ve you been?’. i somewhat rudely emailed him and said ‘im sure it was an accident since i know you’ve heard the news by now’. he pretended he didn’t know (i am still friends with his best friend who TOLD me that he had told him i was engaged), and that he randomly saw a mutual friend  that very same day and they then told him i was engaged (the mutual friend works at the same hospital, so they see each other all the time–he was however, hanging around her floor all day she said). he also asked HOW he proposed. i politely gave him a quick story and let him know what a coincidence it was that he randomly emails me, then the next day after i told him i figured he had heard the news, runs into a mutual friend who told him we were engaged.

i still don’t understand what the point of him emailing me was. i am 100% sure it was on purpose.

Post # 4
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I feel your pain. My ex and I still have A LOT of mutual friends, even though we don’t really speak anymore. But we still have to play nice at all of the social functions we attend, like birthday parties and weddings.

We dated for 4 years, were 2 weeks away from a courthouse wedding, and I called it off. I found out months later that he’d been cheating on me with various other women off and on for 3 of those 4 years. I’m sooooo glad I trusted my gut!! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

My ex wanted to say “congrats” on my engagement- sure- which turned into a lot of stress and fighting.  I never wanted to talk to him again!  Then, he tells me he has a child out of wedlock.  I never wanted to know…

Post # 6
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My ex and my fiance were part of the same group of friends in high school, so I’ll still see him around every once in awhile. We are friends on facebook and whenever we speak, we are very polite and nice to one another. Because we have many mutual friends, I know that he knows I am engaged but he has never said one word about it to me. I feel so weird about it. He always asks how I am doing and tells me what he is up to, but never once congratulated me on my engagement. I would surely congratulate him and actually acknowledge the fact that he got engaged if it were the other way around. It makes me sad he can’t be nice about it.

Post # 7
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Good for you for calling his manager! Who does that? yikes

Post # 9
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think it’s really bizarre that even though you hadn’t seen him in a few years, he felt that the two of you were meant to get married. I think his grasp of reality is tenuous at best.

On a happier note, contgratulations on your recent wedding! I hope you are enjoying being a newlywed.

Post # 10
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

What a weirdo. 

Post # 11
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I hate to say it, but it seems like some of you are being a tad dramatic. I personally would not care if an ex “happened to email me”, regardless of whether it was an accident or not, and I certainly wouldn’t be offended if an ex did not congratulate me. I think everyone can agree on the fact that our exes were important parts of our lives THEN – we’ve shared big parts of our lives with them – checking in to say hello, asking you if you are married, etc, doesn’t necessarily make them weird stalkers who are still hopelessly hung up on you… I’ve gotta say… the fact that some of you got SO DEFENSIVE and then launched into a tangent about how you’re “so glad” you didn’t marry them almost seems like you’re bitter.

Post # 12
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@miss bubbles–my ex is the one who emailed me “on accident”. my ex is an idiot, he was a part of my life, but now he’s not. i dont want any contact with him, and wanted him to delete me from his address book so that doesn’t happen again. i dumped him, not the other way around, and i have never regretted it. yes, maybe i “played” with him a bit and maybe thats mean, but hey, when it ends badly(he cheated..with three women, so i dumped him), sometimes it feels good to be a little mean.

on the other hand, my other ex, who i dated for 2 1/2 years sent me a very nice email saying congrats and wished us well. and i nicely replied back thanks and i was glad to hear he was happy for us. he actually meant that, and i meant what i said. but im so glad i’m not marrying him either =p

Post # 13
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

On the one hand Miss Bubbles, I see where you are coming from but I know whenever my ex emails me I get really mad and upset. I spent 5 years of my life with a guy who was emotionally abusive and 3 years on he still emails me every month or two to “check up on me” (His words). I have asked him to stop, blocked him on facebook and email but he creates emails just to “check up on me”. Sometimes, some exes are traumatic and seeing them again is not a wonderful happy thing. Yes he was a big part of my life, but I am actually a happy person now and I think being nice to an ex when they email you isnt necessarily mandatory.

I do have an ex or two that I have on Facebook and we say hi every now and then, but this ex, noooo way!

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