(Closed) Seeing FI pre-ceremony?

posted 12 years ago in Beehive
Post # 17
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2007 - Restaurant in Burlington

jcabc — i had a similar concern so i posted about it a while back (see it here).  i took a poll and 550 people voted — it was almost 50/50 — those who would see each other post wedding, and those who would wait.

looking back, i’m really glad we did what we did.  we got to take some nice pictures calmly, have a semi-private moment (our wedding party and my mom were hanging around to watch) and not have the pressure of the big moment.  also, i realized after the fact, that my walk down the isle was so surreal that all the pressure i would have built up to that one look, that one moment, would have been not what i’d hoped for as you can’t plan how you’ll be feeling or what you’ll be able to focus on then. 

we also really enjoyed being with our guests immediatley after the ceremony for a group picture and then for our walk together to the reception, which was a huge highlight for us (see it here and here).  we got to attend our own party, and trust me, it goes so fast so you’ll want ever minute you have with them.


Post # 18
378 posts
Helper bee

We are not going to see each other before the ceremony. I’ve always dreamed of seeing my guy waiting at the end of the aisle for me and despite the church and photog recommendations, I don’t care. My cousin and his wife didn’t see each other before the wedding and it was priceless. We’re going to split up (family, bridal party, etc) the photos before the ceremony but my photog said that she only needs about 15 minutes after the ceremony for group shots as long as everyone is there. I think guests know that the cocktail hour isn’t necessarily going to include the bride and the groom for the entire thing.

To me, seeing him see me at the end of the aisle is sometimes the only thing that’s getting me through this right now! 

Post # 19
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

We’re not going to see each other until we walk down the isle, by his choice. It doensn’t matter that much to me but it’s something he’s dreamed about for a long time and I want to make that moment special for him. We are doing as many photos before the ceremony as possible and then planning on including many of the 50 guests attending in the pictures following the ceremony (ceremony and reception are taking place in the same space). We’re hoping to get just a few pictures of us that day and then go out the next day with out photographer who is one of my best friends. It’s looking like it’s going to work out since it’s supposed to rain that day of the wedding but be nice the next day.

Bottom line: I’m not one for superstition or tradition that doesn’t mean anything to one or both partners. Do whatever feels right to the two of you. Just make sure that you make that "first look" moment special whether it’s before the ceremony or during.

Good luck everyone!

Post # 20
48 posts
  • Wedding: July 2008

It was really important to my Fiance that we part ways after rehearsal and not see each other until the moment I walk down the asle.  I can live with that… I think it will be really special.  But I can also understand those who choose to see each other before the ceremony.  I think I would have been fine either way, but since it was so important to him we are waiting.  🙂  I’m sure we’ll both cry and be SO nervous, but oh well… as soon as I see him everyone watching will disappear!

Post # 22
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I’m not sure what the pthers gals said, but what if you did all the pics of you and your girls before wedding, he could do his the same way – kept away from each other/done at different times – then do group shots after.

It’s not going to take hours, and if you have a pre set idea of what you want and work with your photog….you should be able to bang it out in 30-45 min. Might be a wee bit rushed, but as the reception is so short you could do more afterward?

Hope it all works out for ya 🙂 

Post # 23
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Also, as some bees have said, it is apparently pretty common to get a second bouquet and such and have pictures or you and the groom after the actual wedding.  Our photographer suggested it right up front, as he tends to love morning/evening light and we are getting married in the late afternoon.  You can make sure you get at least some photos at your venue right after the ceremony, and then go ahead and do another hour or so at a location of your choice (maybe outside somewhere?) on another day.  Get a little more wear out of the dress!

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