(Closed) Seeing the Groom before the ceremony, Faux Pas?

posted 8 years ago in Photos/Videos
  • poll: Would you be ok with breaking tradition and seeing your groom before the ceremony?
    Yes : (89 votes)
    72 %
    No : (35 votes)
    28 %
  • Post # 3
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I think that is totally fine! We are having a first look as well. More pictures, less rushing and we get to attend to part of our cocktail hour!

    Post # 4
    2820 posts
    Sugar bee

    That’s what we did.  I was really against seeing him before the wedding at first but it was just the most practical thing to do for pictures.  But luckily practical also turned into romantical as well.  It was really touching to see him before and get excited about the wedding and I still cried when I saw him in church standing at the alter. 

    Post # 5
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    i think having a first look before the ceremony is actually more common at this point than the other way around. we’re doing a first look. actually all jewish weddings have a first look because there are traditions that take place with both the bride and groom before walking down the aisle. even if we didn’t have those traditions, i’d still do a first look…i want pictures out of the way so i can go to the cocktail hour!!

    Post # 6
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We are 100% for seeing each other before the ceremony and taking pictures then. I will still be all done up then and it will be more personal and private. I expect it to rock way more than a trip down the aisle with 50 sets of eyes on me as well. 

    Post # 7
    548 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I’m doing a first look! I want to enjoy the cocktail hour and not keep everyone waiting while we’re running around taking pics. Plus, getting all the pics out of the way before the ceremony is great b/c they’ll be done when hair/makeup are still fresh. And I *love* the idea of having some quiet time alone together when we first see each other.

    Post # 8
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Lots of people do a “first look”.  I think it’s lovely.

    I didn’t do it at my wedding, since we had the dreaded gap anyway, but if you’re not superstitious, go for it!

    Post # 9
    2703 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    we had a first look and i would do it again that way in heart beat! it helped us to have our moment together… intimate and got our nerves out! 🙂 

    Post # 10
    251 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    My Darling Husband and I did not see eachother before the wedding.

    For me, my favorite part of EVERY wedding is watching the grooms face when the doors open.  I have been to weddings where they saw eachother before and weddings that they did not… and it makes for a very different expression.  I remember the doors opening and seeing my Darling Husband face and choking up.  It was one of the most amazing moments of my life.  I love going back and remembering that face. It was perfect, and could never be recreated.  Because of that, I did not want to not have that moment.

    However, if you feel like it would be more special to have that moment by yourself… then by all means… do it that way! Do it the way that is going to mean the most to you… whatever that may be.  I’m just posting everything I am so you are able to think through both sides of this.  By no means am I trying to talk you into doing it one way over another.

    Here are pictures of my grooms face (for effect) : )


    [attachment=1387901,176293] [attachment=1387901,176294]

    Post # 11
    7777 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We’re seeing each other before/doign a first look, but we are keeping up the tradition of being apart the night before. He’s spending the night with his brother and dad, I’m spending it at home with my parents.

    Post # 13
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    My husband and I saw each other before the ceremony and I’ll never forget his expression. I thought he was going to go into a coma…it was priceless. We are a very private couple and I didn’t feel comfortable allowing 100+ ppl witnessing it, I think it should be between 2 people.

    Now that i think of it, his aunt probably doesn’t think we love each other very much b/c his expression at the “alter” would be a little more subtle. His aunt is a horrid woman and I’ve posted a thread about her before…

    Angry letter from my in-law

    Post # 14
    4419 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Yes, it’s going against traditions, but what’s wrong with going against tradition? Traditions are not iron clad. They can be bent or totally discarded, and you always hear about people creating new traditions.

    We’re doing a first look. Our photographer suggested it, and we really liked the idea. I think it makes it a little easier on the photographer in our case, because she isn’t using an assistant. She’ll be able to get the expression on his face when he sees me for the first time, plus she’ll be able to get a picture of me walking down the aisle later. It the perfect solution.


    Post # 15
    877 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Yep, we’ll be taking the formal photos before the ceremony.  Our ceremony and reception will be in the same venue, and we didn’t want to make guests wait several hours in between the ceremony and dinner.

    Post # 16
    303 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I have thought about doing this. I think if I walk down the aisle we won’t be able to hug and kiss because we are so excited, so the idea of getting to do that before the ceremony seems very sweet. Can you imagine the huge smiles in the pictures?

    As for people thinking that the grooms face is more composed when he sees you walking down the aisle after already seeing you, who cares? You’re marrying each other and you know he thought you looked amazing and he is still thrilled to marry you regardless. Poo on them.

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