Post # 1
I was wondering if anybody has any advice for keeping stress free on the day of their wedding. The big day is this Friday and I’m feeling really organized and have everything planned logistics-wise. I’m an event planner by trade and I’m so used to managing events that I’m not worried about having issues with vendors, since I’ve dealt with that kind of thing before and that aspect won’t stress me out. Our venue has an on-site coordinator who will handle the details and we’ve designated my mom to be the back-up person for them to go to with any questions.
What’s stressing me out is that people keep coming to me with their issues and it’s putting a lot of stress on my emotionally. My sister who is also my Maid/Matron of Honor has been having some medical problems that she’s being checked out for (anxiety) and she’s needing a lot of support right now. For the last few months she’s been crying a lot to me that she’s worried about ruining our wedding day. I’ve been there to listen whenever she needs me, drive her places since she can’t drive at the moment with her meds and I’ve been good about not asking her to help with wedding-related stuff since she really needs to focus on her health. I’ve assured her when she’s upset that it’s impossible for her to ruin my wedding day since I’m marrying my best friend and that at the end of the day that’s what is important. I’m trying to be a source of calm for her, but I’m struggling with trying to assure her and feeling guilty about being so happy when things have been so shit for her.
My mom also keeps calling me to give lots of updates on sister and it seems like every time I bring up something to do with the wedding, my mom brushes me off since it’s less important. Which, I do understand since her health is more important than this one day. But it still makes me sad that I feel like neither of the two most important women in my life can be there for me right now. Sister because she’s sick and Mom because she’s caregiver.
To top it off, one of my bridesmaids is now all concerned about what she’s going to do in terms of make-up since she’ll now need drops all day and can she wear glasses (of course), how do I want them all to wear their hair (I just said not the exact style as me but otherwise I don’t care), can I accomodate the dietary requests for her (no dairy and yes), etc etc. It’s just been a LOT of questions about what I can do for other people and nobody has been asking me how I’m doing or even talking about how fun the wedding is going to be.
I can’t have been the only one going through this. Married bees, how did you keep stress free when everyone comes to you with their drama/issues/life stuff? I want to be there for people and have been, but I’m worried about balancing other peoples needs with what I want. Fiance and I have been planning this day for 15 months and I just want to ENJOY it!
Post # 2
Remember one thing: your wedding day is about you and you FH, the reception is just a bonus. Remember that the big pictre is you marrying the love of your life.
Here is what I did on my wedding day to avoid being stressed out – DH took on the role of being the designated go to person if there were any issues. I told him no at first bc this is his day too and he said he didnt care bc he can handle it, and he did. He was calm, and anything that went wrong, I never knew about it. And there were quite a few hiccups. So find a designated person to take care of issues.
As far as dietary needs, this should be addresed with your venue in advance. If there are any vegetarians, or if they can substitute things last minute if someone cant have dairy.
For your sisters issues,I hope she gets the helps she needs but what will be will be. I say that bc my sister had a seizure the day of my wedding. Paramedics ended up coming and treating her and all the while my DH and my photographe, and maitre D tried to prevent me from finding out about my sister. I did find out bc i really had to pee and I ran in to the paramedics when i was walking to the suite and I knew something happened.
Get a lot of rest the day before. And just keep remembering that this is a day to celebrate your love between you and your FH. This day comes once in a lifetime so make the best of everything, even the bad moments.
Post # 3
Thank-you for your advice about relaxing. My Mom should be okay to handle things if they happen the day of, but it may be worth talking to FH about if he can help deal with things. He is so calm, cool and collected which totally balances out my very A-type personality 🙂
I already emailed my venue a couple of weeks ago with dietary lists and where those guests are sitting. We have vegans, nut allergies, soy allergies…pretty much if you can be allergic to something than somebody is. But what was concerning me is Bridesmaid or Best Man was saying she probably was going to avoid eating dinner since a lot of places are really uninformed about dairy allergies and don’t consider that if something has been fried in butter for example than she can’t have it. I’m glad that she told me ahead of time, because I’m going to email the venue tomorrow to triple check that they can accomodate her since it’s going to be a very long day for her and I’d hate for her to not eat anything but some packed granola bars.
Wow, I can’t believe that happened to your sister! I hope that she was okay!! And thank-you for sharing your insights, it’s nice to not feel alone with having to deal with unexpected issues.
Post # 4
lol yes, DH is the opposite of me. When something goes wrong he is so calm,, me I am the opposite.
Keep on top of the venue about the dietary issues. And even the day of. Its so easy for them to just forget about it bc weddings are such a big event, small details can he pushed aside.
Post # 5
relax and have some vodka!