Seeking advice – SIL expects us to change plans for her

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 61
Member
3838 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

oh wait, the partner is Australian, my bad! Ignore part of my comment above! 

Post # 62
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I would attend one of her weddings, not 2. Try to go to the East Indian one, those look like so much fun and have great food.

Post # 63
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

weddingwoes :  This situation is such a shame ☹️ I’m sorry, it really sucks that your planning is being disregarded. For the sake of keeping the peace though (I know, not a position you should have to be in) could you move your honeymoon out? Perhaps consider going in July 2019? I come from South Africa and the best time to safari was always in July as the bush wasn’t thick at all and you could easily see animals 🙂

As for the cash flow situation with the parents, I think the answer is simple: They are adults, they need to deal with the consequences of not planning their finances properly. I know it’s horrible but you can’t be giving them money for the rest of their lives as it will never end and could seriously impact on your future plans.

Post # 64
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

I know how frustrating it can be changing wedding plans for people, I changed the date of my engagement party 3 times to accomodate my SIL and after she agreed (ie told us what date to hold it basically) didn’t show up anyway.

However, in case no one has this pointed out, January in Australia can he very hot (40+ degree days, not necessarily cooling down at night either), the ideal times to get married, weatherwise, are spring and autumn (even winter isn’t to bad). Your SIL has already moved the date to December to accomodate for guests on your advice, if she moved it to January to accomodate for your honeymoon, which sounds like hasn’t been booked yet(?), she runs the risk of having her wedding on a hot day, making guests (especially those from the UK that may not be used to these kinds of high temperatures) extremely uncomfortable, and no one wants to see a guest, or member of the bridal party, fainting during the ceremony. Either that or wait for March and asking her to postpone until then is a bit much.  

Perhaps if your set on having your honeymoon in 2018, you could skip the mini-moon so you have some more leave up your sleeve?

Post # 65
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

Oh and sorry about contributing now, bit jet lagged and didn’t see the date. Also I hope my comment wasn’t too harsh.

Post # 67
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

weddingwoes :  she’s charging her parents rent?! I hope they bring a bill for all the years she lived under their roof! Enjoy your wedding and safari! 

Post # 68
Member
2826 posts
Sugar bee

Wow. that’s bruuutal. I remember when you posted originally and already thought that what she was planning was pretty inconsiderate. I’m sorry things with the SIL got worse – that would be really hard deal with – but I’m happy for you that you get your dream honeymoon. 

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