(Closed) Seeking Advice

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it’s okay to not have a Maid/Matron of Honor. Do you have a bridal party made up of other friends? If not, maybe you can consider not having a bridal party at all? Maybe it would be easier (and less heartbreaking) if you held off on this decision until your dates get a little more set in stone?  I’m sorry that it has to keep getting delayed, but maybe your friends/previous Maid/Matron of Honor just couldn’t handle the changing of the dates? You mentioned the last one had a rather busy schedule, and if that’s the case, maybe it’s hard for her to help/accomodate your needs…

It’s your wedding; you’re supposed to be happy…maybe what will make you the happiest is being up there with just you and your Fiance on this important day…….

Post # 5
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It must be so hard having to postpone your wedding 6 times.  I agree with the previous poster who recommended not having anyone up there with you two.  Being in a bridal party is a huge investment of time and money and with plans always changing its hard for them also.  I would wait until your closer and certain of the date then try and reach out to the original Maid/Matron of Honor and see what happens.  Im sorry thing have been so difficult. Good luck

Post # 7
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Wow, this is baffling.  The second Maid/Matron of Honor is not close to you and works alot I get.  Your first Maid/Matron of Honor and BFF that you had the falling out with, that you might be able to change.  I know with all the stress its already hard for you and SHE should be the one reaching out to you but I would try and see if it is fixable.  If not just level with your 3 girlfriends you have and ask one of them. If they are really your friends they will understand and be honored to stand by your side on such an important day. Heck if it was one of my girlfriends I wouldnt care if I was the 5th Maid/Matron of Honor, I would be honored.

Post # 8
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it’s great that you are shouldering their costs.  Good for you for being sensitive to their financial situations. I think it’s not so much that you are asking them to do anything…but more about being respectful of their time schedules. For me personally, if I agreed to be Maid/Matron of Honor and was told the wedding was on xxx date…then I planned my vacation/familiy time/time away from work around that date….only to have that date postponed multiple times…it could get a little discouraging and frustrating. Or perhaps the MOH/previous Maid/Matron of Honor just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying “I don’t know if this wedding will ever happen.”  Im not saying that’s the case, or that she’s thinking that. I’m not even saying this to be mean..I’m just tossing out possibilities. If you really want to get to the bottom of it, I would ask Maid/Matron of Honor and previous Maid/Matron of Honor out to a lunch (each separately though) and have an honest talk with them to find out why they backed out.  

I think that since you have dresses picked out and are willing to pay for them and that you don’t expect them to organize/fund your bachelorette party, then this gives you a  little bit of leeway in terms of asking someone to be a Maid/Matron of Honor on short notice…

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