Post # 1
Hey bee – I need some help.
I used to have a really awful personal self-portrayal of myself. I went threw a few different stages of eating disorders since I was 16. Around 20 I was finally considered “cured” of my mental instability and began retaining a normal body weight. i am going to be 25 and I find myself starting to fall back into the feelings of self disgust as the wedding process continues. I went to get my first fitting today and had a moment of “omg I don’t think i have a good enough body for this dress.” My mom could read it on my face and immediately being lecturing me about the reality of what i was seeing as oppose to what was in my head.
But I still am suffering from those thoughts and maybe need real truth spoken to me.
I know some of you are going to not be so nice, but i am being very serious when I type this and hope you ladies respect and understanding this post.
Post # 3
I too have suffered through eating disorders, and I still have horrible self-esteem when it comes to my body image, so I can relate. The only thing that I can offer you is to try to see yourself as others see you. When you look in a mirror, try viewing yourself from a strangers point of view. You are a very beautiful woman, and your gown looks beautiful on you 🙂
Post # 4
oh sweetie, what im seeing in the photos is a beautiful healthy and vibrate young woman – you look amazing in that dress and i love how your back looks, you are a stunning bride
take care and love yourself, you deserve it!
Post # 5
i think your are gorgeous and have an amazing body – one that others would envy! but i totally get how you feel and i know it helps to have people tell you are wrong, so you are TOTALLY wrong!
Post # 6
Hey girl, that is so great that you not only were strong enough to recover from the effects of your illness as a teen but that you continue to be conscious enough of the disease to recognize that it is giving you an inaccurate body image again. You admit that what you see is not the “real truth.” It takes a lot of bravery and strength to battle those voices inside.
I am sure that the stress of wedding planning is probably contributing to you feeling this way and having to struggle with the symptoms again. I know how it feels to be insecure about your body. i have never had an eating disorder, but I have been chronically underweight for most of my life. Now that I have a wedding to plan, I feel under even more stress to gain weight so that I won’t feel self conscious of my body on my wedding date.
To be totally honest, your body = my goal weight. You are seriously the perfect size for your figure. Gorgeous curves and perfect proportions. I truly, honestly, envy you! And I know I’m not alone in that.
You look absolutely beautiful in that dress. I hope you can shake these icky, unfair thoughts that there is ANYTHING wrong with your body. You deserve to feel like the amazingly stunning bride you truly are. You’re in my thoughts and prayers! aloha nui<3
Post # 7
@His Lil SantosGirl: now that dress fits you beautifully, shape-wise and all. you have nothing to worry about in my opinion
Post # 8
i am so sorry that you are having these feelings. i understand they are out of your control & taking away from what should be a very special time in your life. i know how that feels all too well (i didn’t even want to go buy a dress for fear that people in the store would see me and think that i didn’t deserve to have anyone marry me because my body would disgust them!). i’ve read some articles about what they’ve coined as ‘brideorexia’, and it’s frightening just how common it is. anyone that has struggled with these types of feelings/behaviors in the past is likely to struggle with them again while planning their wedding.
i don’t a quick fix- i wish i did. i can tell you that it’s not uncommon, but that even though it’s common doesn’t mean the feelings are based in reality. i can tell you what i see in the pictures: a beautiful blonde woman wearing a beautiful dress that defines her small waist. long arms with tiny wrists and toned shoulders. a nice smooth back, without any fat back to be seen. and a perfectly proportioned chest, that i’m sure your Fiance is a big fan of;) you look like a princess in your dress, and i’m sure everyone who sees you will think the same thing. imagine your Fiance face on your wedding day, he’s a lucky man! i hope you are able to be done with the dress soon, put it aside and try to enjoy planning the rest of your wedding.
Post # 9
You look absolutely amazing! You look healthy and slender and that dress is terrific on you. But, I know that hearing that won’t always make those feelings go away. If you feel comfortable, it might be really helpful to see a therapist once or twice to help guide you back to your happy place.
Post # 10
You look lovely.
However, and I am as serious as I can be about this: If the wedding is bringing up these feelings again, I think you ABSOLUTELY should start seeing a therapist skilled in eating disorders ASAP…don’t wait for things to get out of control. Wedding planning is stressful enough, without having to deal with issues like these on your own. As you know, eating disorders are serious and can be deadly. It is so admirable that you’ve overcome your problems and that you are doing so well, and I would hate to see you backslide at all. So please don’t feel like you need to be strong and do this yourself.
I work with patients with eating disorders as part of my job, and so obviously feel very strongly about this. Take care, and again congratuations!
Post # 11
People who have never even had body issues have these feelings when it comes to their wedding because its a day you are in the spotlight so I think the insecurity is normal but you look awesome in your dress from a stranger’s perspective so I’m your sure your friend and family will feel it even more!
Post # 12
I’ve had a long history with eating disorders, and I’m having the same feelings that you are in relation to the wedding and the attention it brings. All I can suggest is to focus on all that you have accomplished — your eating disorder does not control you anymore. You are healthy and beautiful and should celebrate that! You deserve to have your wedding day be one of the happiest days of your life — try not to let your negative feelings get in the way.
Post # 13
You look fantastic! Weddings are stressful enough without being able to appreciate how beautiful you look :(. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to talk to someone about this, whether it’s your mother at first or your therapist.
Post # 14
You look amazing in your dress! Try not to let those voices in your head get you down!
Post # 15
@His Lil SantosGirl:
You look like a princess to me 🙂 I don’t know what you see but I see a beautiful bride!
Post # 16
Oh honey, I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. You look great! The dress fits your body so perfectly.