(Closed) Self-Inflicted Pressure

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Surrey, BC, Canada

I’ve dealt with the pressure of comparing myself to others. Mostly it stems from the fact that our wedding is rather low budget, and we are attending 7 weddings for friends over the next year and ALL of them are spending at least twice, if not three times as much as we are. It makes me feel like people will think ours is “poor” and not fun and that they will have a “fancier more fun” time at the other weddings.

But I took a lesson from my FH who says… “WHO CARES!” He really doesn’t care what others think of him and I love that about him. It’s helped me realize that we are trying our best to have a fun wedding for our guests, and if they don’t like it, too bad. We are sacrificing a lot so that everyone, including us, will have a good time on that day. If they choose not to see our efforts and be grateful, then TOO BAD!

So I just tell myself that whenever I feel the pressure/comparison/jealousy well up again.

Post # 3
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

On my mother’s side, I’m the first grandchild to get married, so they are ALL making it a huge ordeal, wanting extended family to be invited and such. My mom had a very elaborate wedding, so she has big ideas about what my wedding “MUST” look like. I, on the other had, am having to remind her that it is NOT about napkin color and 6 tiered cakes and punch fountains….it’s about having everyone we love in ONE place for ONE day and experiencing that love. 

Luckily, on my father’s side, I have 4 cousins that have already had their weddings and I think everyone has a realistic view of who we are as a couple and what to expect. 

My Fiance has kept me grounded, like 

View original reply
michy604 said. I try to keep in mind that while all these wonderful examples of weddings are beautiful, there can only be ONE day that is truly about us, and some of these awesome ideas just aren’t “us”. Sometimes I become overwhelmed with what I think people expect from us…but then I just take a step back and re-assess. 

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