(Closed) self soothing/crying it out

posted 6 years ago in Babies
  • poll: i need sleep.
    no i don't let my baby cry at all : (10 votes)
    28 %
    i let my baby cry 1-5 mins. : (5 votes)
    14 %
    i let my baby cry 5-10 mins. : (7 votes)
    19 %
    i let my baby cry as long as it takes for them to soothe them self (within reason) : (14 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 3
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    How old is your baby?

    The most common method I’ve heard of is a gradual system where you increase the CIO time by 5 minute increments.  So you’d start by letting baby cry for 5 minutes, then go in and reassure him/her by patting, shushing, saying soothing words (but not picking him/her up) for 1 minute.  Then you wait 10 minutes, and go back in to soothe.  Then wait 15 minutes before soothing.  20 minutes is the limit, so once you get to that point, you go in every 20 minutes to soothe baby until he/she falls asleep. 

    I haven’t done CIO myself, so I don’t have any personal experience, but there have been some users who have posted about doing CIO with their kids.  Maybe some of these links will help:




    Post # 6
    6741 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I just read an article in the paper today that says that babies have less sleeping problems later on in life if you sleep train them.  They did 2 types of sleep training as compared with parents who did not sleep train.  One way was putting the baby to sleep, then coming in periodically to soothe them throughout the night.  The other was to sit in a chair by the baby and gradually, over several weeks, move the chair until it was out of the baby’s room. The most drastic way, of course, would be to shut the door and not open it again until the morning.  The point of the study, although they did not study that particular method, was to show that it doesn’t negatively affect the baby to do that and it actually promotes better sleeping habits and is more helpful for the parents/mother. 

    Post # 7
    666 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I just couldn’t stand my little guy crying when he’s just a baby.  I needed to hold him right away and my husband said I made a mistake and he’s right! :-).  He cried a lot with me than with his dad and he surely listened to his dad more than he listened to me!  He knew he could get away a lot with me.  Now he’s 5 years old and I have been working hard to discipline him so it works sometimes but still he cries with me more than with his dad and he listens to his dad more.  Oh well, what can I do!  So maybe letting a baby cry it out for reasonable of time is not that of a bad idea :-).

    Post # 9
    1652 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’ve just finished reading The Baby Whsiperer and her approach is to teach the baby to calm itself by picking it up and soothing it but then putting it down as soon as it is calm, i.e. not holding it for longer then it needs so it gets used to being held and then can’t sleep without being held. Her appoach makes a lot of sense to me but I can’t say what will actually happen once my LO arrives. I know I won’t be ‘Ferberizing’ it though!

    Post # 10
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    @Mrsluckywife:  I tried that method first, but my son would get even more upset and cry for a lot longer when I went in to hold him… The one method that got us through the night was to let him calm himself for 5 minutes, then 10, then 15. When I go in, I simply put him back on his back and speak softly then I leave the room again. Now he goes to sleep without us having to even go in his room, he rarely fusses…

    He will turn 9 months next week, and only started to sleep through the night at 7.5 months.

    That’s for the night. I still have to rock him to sleep for naps, but I don’t mind as long as he can sleep at night.

    Post # 12
    255 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I just couldn’t let my Dirty Delete cry it out.  She is 4 now and sleeps like a champ.  She goes right to sleep without anything.

    Post # 13
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t have kids of my own yet but I know my mom allowed both me and my 2 siblings to CIO/self-soothe and we all slept through the night consistantly by ~8 weeks old.

    No damage to any of us and I know my mom appreciated being able to get some better rest herself.

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