(Closed) Selfish?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@JoandJade:  i’m sorry but you are being a tad selfish he hasn’t seen his mother in 7 years and she’s never met you–is it so terrible for her to come stay for a month? this isn’t a stranger in your house, it’s your soon to be mother in law-if you’re not negative about it it could be a positive thing

Post # 18
17 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

@JoandJade:  I can understand how you feel, it’s the first time you are meeting her and you are basically forced to share the same space for a month.  I think though you have to compromise and let her stay since it is costly and it’s only a month. I’ve had relatives stay at our family home for 3 months at a time. It does wear on your nerves but it’s also a great way to learn and get to know them. Think of this as an opportunity to meet new family members. Good luck hun!

Post # 19
5092 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@JoandJade:  OP, I totally understand your feelings. I think a lot of people who come from closer-knit and very open families can’t understand why having two family members stay for a month is such a big deal, but to someone who is an introvert and needs privacy in order to stay sane, that’s a HUGE sacrifice. The fact that they’re family on paper doesn’t mean that they’re not still strangers.

I still think you should allow it, because of all the circumstances that PPs have mentioned. But I don’t think it’s selfish not to like it. And I agree with

View original reply
bookworm88:  that you and your DH need to figure out boundaries for that period, what you are expected to do for them, etc. Your needs matter too.

Post # 21
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think you are being unresonable by being uncomfortable…I get that. But, you would score major “new wife” points with his Mother and with your Fiance if you could find a way to make this work. It’s clearly very important to him, so I’ll bet you would make him really happy if you found a way to facilitate their stay.

I agree with PP though that setting boundaries and expectations before they arrive would be a very prudent move.

Post # 23
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Be grateful…My fiance MOM & DAD will be coming next year for FOUR MONTHS – MONTHS…

His family are in Asia and we try to go back to visit every 3 years…Since your hubby only get to see his family every 7 years…Suck it up.  Four weeks will fly by….

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