Post # 17
@JoandJade: i’m sorry but you are being a tad selfish he hasn’t seen his mother in 7 years and she’s never met you–is it so terrible for her to come stay for a month? this isn’t a stranger in your house, it’s your soon to be mother in law-if you’re not negative about it it could be a positive thing
Post # 18
@JoandJade: I can understand how you feel, it’s the first time you are meeting her and you are basically forced to share the same space for a month. I think though you have to compromise and let her stay since it is costly and it’s only a month. I’ve had relatives stay at our family home for 3 months at a time. It does wear on your nerves but it’s also a great way to learn and get to know them. Think of this as an opportunity to meet new family members. Good luck hun!
Post # 19
@JoandJade: OP, I totally understand your feelings. I think a lot of people who come from closer-knit and very open families can’t understand why having two family members stay for a month is such a big deal, but to someone who is an introvert and needs privacy in order to stay sane, that’s a HUGE sacrifice. The fact that they’re family on paper doesn’t mean that they’re not still strangers.
I still think you should allow it, because of all the circumstances that PPs have mentioned. But I don’t think it’s selfish not to like it. And I agree with bookworm88:
that you and your DH need to figure out boundaries for that period, what you are expected to do for them, etc. Your needs matter too.
Post # 21
I don’t think you are being unresonable by being uncomfortable…I get that. But, you would score major “new wife” points with his Mother and with your Fiance if you could find a way to make this work. It’s clearly very important to him, so I’ll bet you would make him really happy if you found a way to facilitate their stay.
I agree with PP though that setting boundaries and expectations before they arrive would be a very prudent move.
Post # 22
Thanks for the good (mostly ;-)) insight.
After reading over, I did leave some things out…like my Fiance and I won’t be living together until after our wedding at the end of August. He’s barely spent the night more than a handful of times b/c I feel like it’s a bad example for my son. So in December, we will only be living together for 4 months and I feel like it’s going to be a huuuuuuuge adjustment for us both.
And the other part of my hesitation came from the fact that he didn’t really ask me and talk this over w/ me…he basically just said, “Hey, my mom and brother are coming to visit for a month in December”. (Which isn’t typical since usually we are all about compromise and discussion). He basically just said this is how it is.
It’s not really them staying a month, it’s more like we just got married, stil adjusting to living together and it’s such a long time, so soon.
I did enjoy reading the feedback though…thank you. Mostly everyone made some valid points.
Post # 23
Be grateful…My fiance MOM & DAD will be coming next year for FOUR MONTHS – MONTHS…
His family are in Asia and we try to go back to visit every 3 years…Since your hubby only get to see his family every 7 years…Suck it up. Four weeks will fly by….