(Closed) selfish best woman

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmm, I can see that this would be frustrating!  Ultimately, I know that her behaviour seems selfish and self-absorbed but at the end of the day family is family and while she may not be the greatest sister to your FH, she’s the only one he has so I would suggest a reasonable compromise that you all can feel good about? If the wedding is the 28th and the horse show starts the 25th, perhaps one half day or something will work, to appease her and also maybe as a bit of a break and some fun during the last minute wedding prep madness? Maybe you could even bring some of your family along if that’s something really different that they’d be interested in and enjoy?

It’s not ideal that she is acting this way, but at the same time it must be hard for your FH to be in this position too (of feeling torn).  I hope it all works out! 

Post # 4
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Eh. Honestly, it’s her choice to miss this. What are you supposed to do? Either she shows up for you or she doesn’t. I wouldn’t give it much more thought than that.

Post # 6
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well, I think then you and/or FH need to kindly but firmly explain why you can’t attend the show because it will be a busy week and you have other obligations to see to.  Any reasonable person would understand that…..not saying that she’s one of them! 🙂

At the end of the day, you both need to do what works for YOU not her and not feel bad about it.  You tried initially (ie when Future Mother-In-Law said it was the 21st) and it’s not your fault that you got misinformation.  

Best of luck!

Post # 8
Member
2708 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you have time before the wedding you can try and visit the show, but only if you have time.  Tell her that you’re sorry and you’ll try and make it, but you have a lot of stuff to get done for the wedding and you can’t make any promises.  Or maybe you could invite her to hang out with you?  Are you have a girls’ spa day or anything? She is still coming to the wedding right?

Post # 10
Member
2708 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mypinkshoes:  Well that really sucks and I think it’s rude she won’t be flexible.  Every relationship requires some sort of compromise by both parties.   I think you’re doing all you can.  Invite her to pre-wedding stuff and make it clear that you’d really love her to come.  Sorry she’s so frustrating. =/

Post # 11
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

as someone who is pretty involved in many horse show circuits in varying disciplines  in ontario, I am curious as to where she is finding all of these horse shows. Did anyone tell her April is COLD…why would you voluntarily spend your days in a crowded arena?

More to the point, its not cool that she is not putting her brother first in this circumstance.

 

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