(Closed) selfish bride [she’s my planner!]

posted 13 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
821 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

Your planner will likely book weddings for any weekend she can, including that weekend. (Unless she doesn’t usually book up.) What difference should it make whether someone you know or someone you don’t know hires her?

Post # 4
38 posts
  • Wedding: July 2009

I don’t understand how refering your wedding planner to someone else will affect your wedding day. Like ms. cherry pie said, she will book people anyways.

 I’m sorry to say but the selfish one seems to be you. After all, all of us planning a wedding hire our vendors upon referal from other people.

Post # 5
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Do you honestly think that your planner has no other clients than you, and will take on no other clients than you between now and your wedding day? If so, I have a beautiful bridge to sell you.

Post # 6
45 posts

There’s no nice way to put it, because you are being selfish here! Your planner is a professional, and you need to get a grip.

Post # 7
8 posts
  • Wedding: June 2009

Honestly I can see where the "but she’s mine" feeling would come in to play, but I agree with the hive here….she will more than likely be booking a wedding for every weekend that she can, it’s her business and career! You can’t make money with no bookings as a wedding planner! Sorry to dissapoint!

Post # 8
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

If you do not want to share your planner you dont have to. If you want to be nice you can suggest other planners for your bridemaid’s co-worker.

Post # 9
1929 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

If you like your planner, you should help her be successful.  She is likely already doing multiple weddings at once – if she is good, this won’t impact you at all as she knows how much she can handle at once.  I really don’t understand how a wedding 2 months after yours would impact you.  It does seem selfish.

Post # 10
16 posts
  • Wedding: October 2008

Successful wedding planners build their business on referrals and positive word-of-mouth.  If you like her and she is doing a good job the best way you can show your appreciation is by giving her a referral.  If she is a professional wedding planner than she will be booking weddings around yours anyway, I don’t think you will know the difference. 

Honestly, you don’t own her time.

Post # 11
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

ALL your vendors will do weddings other than yours – some (like your florist, your bakery) will do multiple weddings the same day as yours.  People who are committed to you for the day (photographer, planner/DOC) will still do other weddings that same weekend.  Seriously – how could these people support themselves if they only took one event a month?  I agree that if your planner really is good, and a professional, she’s doing other weddings anyway, and you should never know the difference.

That said, I assume that when your co-worker asks if you will "share" your planner that she wants to hire her.  There should be no problem with that.  If she somehow just thinks she can get some of your planner’s time, at your expense, that is totally inappropriate.

Post # 12
44 posts
  • Wedding: May 2008

I will admit that I had that feeling about my DOC when considering if I would refer her to my futuer sister-in-law (marrying my brother this weekend) however the DOC turned out to be a dud so that concern went out the window. Haha.  If she would have been stellar I would have definitely referred her to others.

I do think that if your are confident in your DOC’s abilities and are happy with her services you should refer her to other brides.  Checking references was an important step I missed when chosing my DOC and I regret it.  Now that we have come down from the wedding whirlwind, I’ve really enjoyed helping friends/family who are planning their weddings (when asked for advice/tips) because we learned a lot from the experience and I hate to see someone else struggling if I can help.


Post # 13
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Yeah I’m pretty sure that the planner will book anything she can get, myabe it would be a good idea to give your friend a whole list of planners, then let her find her own from it. Explain that you know your planner is really booked up so you wanted to give her options for her co-woker.

If your wedding planning is a professional then I woulnd’t worry about things getting in the way of your day.  

Post # 15
30 posts
  • Wedding: Small church ceremony, museum reception

Spunky- I know we all like to think our weddings are totally unique like snowflakes, but especially with the internet around, that is not the case 😉 if you’re worried about this acquaintance being given some of your ideas, just tell your planner some of your concerns. If she’s good, I’m sure she has lots of ideas that aren’t yours to share with her other clients. Don’t worry- your wedding will be beautiful and all yours! 

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