(Closed) Selfish Brides?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Osaka..did something happen to set you off? I find Bridezillas amusing…both on TV and in real life but it’s almost as if a specific incident has you heated. I am going to take a stab at responding…even though you aren’t talking about specifics…

ITS ALL ABOUT ME! MY DAY! BLAH BLAH BLAH! No, its not just your day. its your day and your Fiances, and your families.

I am different from some brides I think in that my wedding day will be about my Fiance and I only…it’s NOT about our families and our families are fine with that considering all that we have been through during our relationship.

PLEASE stop tripping over small details and act as if the world revolves around YOU! because contrary to belief it doesnt.

I think that most brides go through a period of obsessing about every little detail but more often than not…all of that goes out of the window when the day finally arrives.

You dont deserve any special attention because your getting married, just be happy that you are going to start a beautiful journey with the one you love! thats all that should matter!

I don’t know about anybody else but I most certainly DO deserve some special attention on my wedding day…LOL. maybe not in the months, weeks, and days leading up to the wedding day…but on the actual day…I definitely want to be treated and to feel like I am special. I don’t think that’s unrealistic or “bridezilla-ish”. As long as the bride doesn’t expect everybody to bow and scrape I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to feel special.

Im sorry its just when i see these bridezillas everywhere it makes me sick :

Bridezillas make me laugh. If there is any sickness involved, it may be a sore stomach from laughing so hard. It’s not the bridezillas that get me…it’s the people who allow the bridezillas to walk all over them, treat them like dirt, and keep coming back for more.

Post # 5
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with jamaica bride. I want to feel special on our wedding day and I do want it to be about just us. I also want anything wedding related that we/I do, be about us. Also, our wedding isn’t about our families, just us.

Post # 6
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Osaka…I get angry watching Bridezilla’s and things like that myself…but I try to remind myself that there aren’t that many brides that could get away with acting like that and still have a Fiance…LOL.

I do agree that it used to be that brides knew they had a DAY..but more and more brides are starting to claim…weeks, months, seasons even…and getting mad when a relative or aquaintance even DARES to THINK about having a wedding NEAR their weddign date. For me…that’s a bit much…LOL.

So I understand where you are coming from…but just try to laugh at the craziness and be thankful that it’s not you Laughing

Post # 8
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Osakagrl – I actually can’t watch Bridezillas!  I don’t like seeing shows that paint people in the worst possible way since I know they are the minority.  And I have to say, the vision that a couple has for their wedding varies from couple to couple.  My husband and I took the view that the wedding really WAS about friends & family.  The point for us was to have them there to share a very important day in our lives.  The fact that I never had to get my own drink that day was just icing!  But when others say their wedding day is about them as a couple, I don’t think they are being selfish.  I think they are simply saying that this is officially the day that we become “We” and it really is about that bond between them.

Then again, some people just want to be royalty for a day.  More power to them!  We can’t begrudge them that!

Post # 9
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think the same thing!!!! How could they actually get engage when they are so mean!?

Post # 10
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

@Osaka – I completely agree. I think Bridezillas the TV show is certainly exaggerated – no way those girls act like that ALL THE TIME and their fiances put up with it. But seeing people act like that in real life is ridiculous. Yes, on the wedding day you can be the star of the show, but the rest of the time, why expect anything of anyone? It’s up to your friends and family how excited and involved they want to be. Especially if you decide to make the day all about you and not the people around you – nothing wrong with that, but I wouldn’t be surprised when these same people don’t give you the attention/help you might want.

Post # 11
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

You know, I actually agree with you Osakagirl, but then again, my wedding is completely out of the ball park in terms of the norm. I was talking to my Dad today about this horrible reigning sense of self-entitlement when it comes to women getting married. I think that the style of weddings has become what it is today (in respect to women and their attitude towards their wedding) because of the bridal world. They have basically pushed it on the world that YOU deserve whatever you want that day, and that it’s mostly about YOU. They have made it ok for women to be demanding in regard to their happiness on that day. It’s your day, do what makes you happy, no matter what.

Sure it’s partly your day. But no matter how you frost the cupcake, the attitude is selfish and rude, regardless of how many other ladies back you up! It isn’t just about you, and it shouldn’t be! It should be about your fiance, your family, your friends, and the celebration, not about your centerpieces, dress, and total complete unadulterated happiness. Truth is, if you let go and concentrate more on other people being happy and joining you in celebration, YOU will be happier, happier than if you did this crazy wedding magazine/bridal salon/8 shower concept that the bridal companies have deemed necessary and appropriate.

I love WeddingBee, I really do, and some women really do need support from their peers in regards to wedding issues. I think it’s fun to toss around wedding ideas on occasion. But frequently, this place is about like The Purse Forum (ah yes guys, thank you, I just KNEW I needed another Birkin this month, off to the store with my credit card I go! Thanks for supporting me guys! lol) the support isn’t necessarily correct or beneficial, it’s just a place to go to get affirmation that you should be treated like a princess, that you should get what you want, that you should be the only one wearing white, that yeah your bridesmaids didn’t give you that great of a shower, that your Future Mother-In-Law is a giant bitch, and yes you need registries, and OH I can’t believe your Future Sister-In-Law said that to you! Hell, I’m guilty of it a time or two! ๐Ÿ˜€

Not all brides are like this! I’m not directing this at anyone, in fact, I’m not on here enough to be able to do that hah, but this is how I’ve felt from day one regarding weddings, and I may not be right, and lots of people will disagree with me, but that’s life ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I didn’t really feel like this on my wedding day (or about my wedding in general). I’m reserving it for when I’m pregnant, lol.

I kid. Sort of.

Post # 13
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@Laylabelle – You made me laugh!

Post # 14
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Hey, you really only get away with it when you’re old – nobody is going to stand up and tell an old lady to stop being a ‘zilla! ๐Ÿ˜›  But I plan on trying it out when I’m pregnant too, hehe.

Post # 16
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@Osakagrl-If you haven’t done so yet, find the A Practical Bride blog.  Meg got married this year, but she still has lots of thoughtful and thought provoking things to say about weddings & marriage.  Read through her history too to get the full picture.  I often found her posts to be very appropriate as I planned our wedding.

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