Post # 1
I am basically just curious about this and looking for some thoughts and insight 🙂 Thanks in advance!!
When it comes to the bedroom and each participant receiving pleasure, how do you think that should work? Do both of you need to get off every time? If he finishes and you don’t, should he finish the job or are you okay without? Say you both prefer different positions; how do you compromise? Is it okay to be “selfish” in the bedroom? Have you ever had to deal with a partner that maybe was a little selfish and if so how did you go about talking to them about it?
Post # 2
Too Much Information alert coming :I personally can’t finish without him taking a trip down to Meow Meow Town… & that’s also the only way that i know of for me to be ready enough for actuallllll sex. I don’t use/allow toys or fingies in there, bad experience with both, so it’s meow town for him or nothing lol.
Luckily ive been weirdly lucky in all my relationships to date guys that actually enjoy doing that. He’ll even do it when we’re NOT gonna do sex (due to time constraints, I’m tired, hes too tired etc.)
I’d say i “reciprocate” a bit less, but that’s bc we usually do actual sex for him to finish. More often ill do that for him when i reeeeally don’t wanna do ANYTHING at all, like when I’m Too Much Information, on my period & i just feel gross. He actually has zero problem doing stuff during that time, its just sometimes you don’t want ANYTHING, ya know?
Hopefully any of this was useful lol.
Post # 3
Letitbee1 : it’s never okay to be selfish in the bedroom. If someone loves you then they won’t deprive you of orgasms.
Post # 4
Letitbee1 : I think you should both put the pleasure of the other first.
If it’s feeling out of balance… That’s not good. But people are very sensitive about sexual critiques. I think if you use positive en couragement/feedback and direct instructions that’s all you really need. Communicate.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2018 - City, State
It should balance out in the long run but doesn’t have to be exactly equal every single time, in my life. Maybe in the morning, we might have time for a quickie/oral/handjob but not enough time to get me off, but in the evening I’ll get to come 3-4 times. Each specific experience could be labeled “selfish” but in the end it works out to be about equal. Our favorite positions are different, but we switch it up so that both of us get the opportunity to have a favorite fairly regularly. (Also, remember, you can use more than one position during a penetrative session!) Both of us want to enjoy each other – that’s the whole point of sex! – and to make each other happy in general, so we both strive to be generous. I previously dated someone who never wanted to orgasm, he just wanted to be basically “used,” but that was really hot and wonderful for him so I never felt bad about it.
As long as everyone involved is happy with it, it’s ok.
awholenewbee2019 : Too Much Information alert coming :I personally can’t finish without him taking a trip down to Meow Meow Town… & that’s also the only way that i know of for me to be ready enough for actuallllll sex. I don’t use/allow toys or fingies in there, bad experience with both, so it’s meow town for him or nothing lol.
I have literally no idea what you mean. Is this a kind of toy or a position? Or is he eating your pussy? I’m confused. But hey, if it works, mazel!
Post # 6
My SO refuses to finish until I have, sometimes more than once. He is very in tune with my body and what I like. That said, I wouldn’t mind if there were times where he got off and I didn’t, as long as it wasn’t all the time. We usually switch between 3-5 different positions so that we each get some of what we like, unless it’s a quickie in which case we stick to good ol’ missionary. He loves oral but it’s give or take for me, so I’m mindful of making sure I fulfill that need for him regularly, but he doesn’t pressure me to do it every time.
Communication is key. Like PPs said, if something feels off-balance or one of you is feeling unfulfilled, you should talk about it honestly and without judgement or defense.
Post # 7
awholenewbee2019 : MEOW MEOW TOWN HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Post # 8
i wouldnt say either of us are selfish, but there have been a few times where he will get off and i wont. It doesnt truly bug me tbh. I really only get off in one position and one position only, so if we skip it im not going to O no matter what else we do..
now being full blown pregnant, sex tends to be a lot different, i do it for him, not really for me. Ive hit the uncomfortable with everything stage, so sex does nothing for me currently.
Post # 9
Honestly, I see nothing wrong in either party being a little selfish once in a while. There are times where I want to just pleasure him and he wants to just pleasure me. There are times when I’m not in the mood, but want him to feel good and finish. I see no harm in that.
Generally speaking, we both make sure we’re taken care of. I mean, it’s not my fault the female body can have multiple orgasms 🤷♀️ Lol
Post # 10
wineosaur : I’ve had partner like that in the past, who made sure I got off and then did their thing. The problem currently seems to be that my guy can’t last long enough to get me to that point before he finishes :/
Post # 11
You shouldn’t be selfish in a relationship, in any aspect.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2018 - City, State
Letitbee1 : If he can’t last that long (which, that’s just how some penis-having humans are wired) then he should be getting you off first. “Sorry, I’m done, so all the sex is over” is a really kind of lame, regressive excuse, right? Fingers! Tongues! Toys! There are so many other options that don’t involve him needing an erection.
Have you talked to him about it?
Post # 14
manylovesbee1 : It should balance out in the long run but doesn’t have to be exactly equal every single time.
I like this, thanks!
Post # 15
manylovesbee1 : No. I know he’s self concious about it and I’m trying to be patient and mindful with it all and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I’m working up to it and hope to bring it up soon when the timing is right….he’s got a lot going on that has affected his libido so when he IS in the mood I am just happy to get some so I try not to complain. That probably sounds terrible… :/