Post # 1
hi bees-a couple of my bridesmaids are upsetting me (and i have not told them i just keep it to myself) and i need to know if i am being selfish for being upset or if they are. a couple of them have either a) flipped out because they have been with their boyfriend longer and he hasnt proposed yet, or b) started planning their own not-yet-existent wedding constantly instead of being excited for mine. i really hate to be selfish, but i didnt come from much and i have been abused in the past and am still on Cloud 9 about marrying this wonderful man and it upsets me that “girls will be girls” and try and steal my thunder. i am at an age where most people are getting married and all my girlfriends are dying to and i am the first one of my friends and there are some hints of jealousy that i detect. others dealt with this? thoughts?
Post # 3
It doesn’t sound like they are jealous or “stealing your thunder” but are probably just caught up in the wedding bug. Especially when some of them are expecting engagments soon, they might just be so excited to talk wedding talk. I wouldn’t get too upset by it.
Post # 4
okay good point. it just upset me that a) they are mad they have been with their boyfriends longer, its not my fault they havent proposed yet and it doesnt make my relationship any less significant, and b) that when i try and bounce ideas off them or ask for advice they just talk about what they want to do for their wedding. it’s probably just me being a little selfish.
Post # 5
I have to agree that it seems like they have been bitten by your wedding bug! They are excited for you, they are excited to be in your wedding! It is natural for these girls to be talking about their imaginary wedding as they help plan with you, or when they hear your plans, it is fun.
I wouldn’t read too much into, even if there is some jealousy, you’re the one getting married!
Post # 6
@ieatunicorns: <– This. I don’t think they are trying to steal your thunder or aren’t excited for your wedding. It’s just kind of hard not to think about your own wedding when helping someone plan theirs. The wedding bug is for real! I wouldn’t let it get to you.
Post # 7
well very true, its hard not to be bit by the wedding bug! i guess i was mostly upset that some of them got mad at their boyfriends and started pushing for/planning their engagements, almost like it is a competition and they cant just be happy for me. i think that’s what i was reading into and it irked me. but thank you for trying to help me not read into it too much!
Post # 8
Let it go doll, my sister got engaged and my 19 year old KID started talking about her “wedding” with a guy she’s been dating for two weeks….I try to ignore it, shield my sister from it’s absurdity and hope she’ll kind of blow herself out on the whole thing before too long…it happens, and it’s natural for them to be a little caught up in it all, it’s a wedding! And what girl doesn’t want to think about her wedding, even if it isn’t time yet.
Give them a minute, they’ll get on the wagon soon
Post # 9
Your friends might be a little bit jealous and anxious, which is a bummer when you want them to be excited about your news . . . but as long as they’re not taking it out on you/your wedding, I’d just ignore it.
Post # 10
I feel ya…..my advice: just let it go. They aren’t doing it on purpose to upset you. I’ve been there, done that. On both ends. When my BFF was getting married I was sad that I wasn’t & that I was single. When I was getting married it was the same story for one of my friends…..So, just be sensitve that they too really want to get married and all your planning is just making them want it even more. Just try to let it go, i know it’s hard and frustrating but patience will help you keep your friendships.
Post # 11
I know how you feel. my bridesmaids have been getting on my nerves to but havent said anything to them. trying to let it go. they havent been acting like yours tho mine havent even began to ask me what they can do to help with the wedding or what i have chosen to do yet. besides my maid of honor. i get more people who are not in the wedding telling me that if i need help that they will help me the best they can. and one of my bridesmaids would rather chose/look for stuff way in advance then im even close to looking, than to look at a bridesmaid dress that i asked her to look at. or rather go out with her friends then tell me when she can meet up with the rest of the girls to try on bridesmaid dresses. so i deffiantly know how your feeling, your not being selfish at all hun!! hope it gets better for ya!