(Closed) Selfish to leave after the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Honeymoons
  • poll: Do you find it rude to not stay for brunch the day after your wedding?
    No - it's not rude : (126 votes)
    84 %
    Yes - it's rude and you should go to the brunch : (24 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    3400 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    No, not rude.


    Post # 4
    2890 posts
    Sugar bee

    No, not rude at all. You don’t have to host or attend a brunch. Guests were invited to the wedding and only had to RSVP for the wedding. Once the wedding is over, you are free to leave for your honeymoon. You have no obligation to stay for a morning-after brunch.

    Post # 5
    313 posts
    Helper bee

    I would stay for brunch, personally. But I don’t think I’d say it’s rude to catch a flight early the next morning for your honeymoon, esp if it’s the best deal!

    Post # 6
    394 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Personally I wouldn’t want to leave right away because I think I’d be just so tired after the wedding. 

    Are the flights much cheaper than anything else you’ve found? If not I think the gesture of going to brunch would go a long way, considering people are coming in from out of town. 

    Post # 7
    982 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @MrsS_to_be:  I don’t think it’s rude to miss the brunch, but won’t you be exhausted to leave on a 6am flight the morning after your wedding? Having to get up at 4am or earlier the day after my wedding wouldn’t be something I’d be looking forward to. Can’t you leave Monday?

    Post # 8
    47216 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Many couples leave right from the reception to go on their honeymoon, even if that means travelling to a hotel for their first night.

    There is no obligation to hang around for a brunch the next day.



    Post # 9
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    No it’s not rude. I personally did not attend a brunch. I was “exhausted” in the sense that I had just planned and hosted a wedding and wanted to get out of town!

    Post # 10
    2480 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’d stay for the brunch because actually, I’d much prefer a more relaxed and social morning after what’s usually one of the most hectic days of your life! So I loved having a lazy morning and brunch with my Brother-In-Law and SIL the day after my wedding.

    But it’s not rude, as such, to fly off on honeymoon straight away although I think it is courteous to spend a little more time with family who’ve taken the trouble to come from out of town. 


    Post # 11
    346 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    It’s not rude at all. A morning after brunch is optional, so I don’t see why they feel you are required to attend. 

    Like PPs suggested, I was tired the next day and we left for our honeymoon the Tuesday after our Saturday wedding so we had some time to pack and get all our gifts and wedding items back home. 

    Post # 12
    9130 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    I think it depends.  Are they traveling a long way (2-3+ hours) to get to your wedding?  Do you get to see them very often?  

    For our wedding, the vast majority of our family came in from anywhere from 6 to 18 hours drive or a flight plus 1-5 hours drive.  We only see them maybe 1-2 times a year.  They stayed at least through Sunday and you bet we were there to hang out with them after they put forth all that effort.  In our case, the wedding really was a community event rather than “the bride and groom are celebrated and do whatever they want”, and I liked it that way.

    There’s also something to be said for picking your battles.  If your in-laws cause a fight about everything, that’s one thing.  If this is the one thing they’re really insisting on, that’s a different thing.

    Post # 13
    496 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We left on one of those early flights to St. Lucia for our honeymoon – and I don’t think anyone was upset one bit!

    Post # 14
    3638 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

     It’s not selfish but I think you might regret it. I have heard many couples say that they were so glad to debrief with family after the wedding – there were so many stories and funny dramas that went on that the couple had no idea about and it was fun to hear about the day from their family’s point of view. Plus you’ll be able to see the photos everyone took!

    It will extend the “wedding feeling” and be another nice memory. You could also use that opportunity to open presents with family and have someone else document who gave what.

    Just my point of view, if you know that you will need a break from your family then be all means leave.

    Post # 15
    7642 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MrsS_to_be:  How on earth is it rude? It’s your honeymoon, your first morning of married life. They have lots of time to see you *before* the wedding.

    Do a counter suggestion of brunch another time. I see you’re already inviting people around after the rehearsal dinner, but how about brunch the morning before the wedding too?

    Post # 16
    105 posts
    Blushing bee

    My sister didn’t attend the brunch after her wedding and I didn’t think anything of it.  Unless you’re throwing the brunch, I don’t think it’s rude.


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