(Closed) Semi-Childfree wedding… how to go about this

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
46375 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is perfectly acceptable to have a 2 month old who may likely be nursing, as the only exception to the “only older children rule”. Address the invitation to the couple only and if asked say you are only having older children and nursing infants.

Post # 5
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

An age bracket is fine. Set a rule for yourself now, though, before you start making exceptions! 

I personally would think it a little strange to invite tweens; I would set the upper limit in the older teens (14-16), but I understand why you might not want to do that.

Post # 6
3266 posts
Sugar bee

You can invite whomever you like.  There is no rule that says it’s all or nothing.


Post # 8
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honestly, if this is the *only* kid not invited – I wouldn’t do it. I know you don’t mean to, but if I were a mom, I’d be a bit offended at that. Especially when I showed up and saw that there were a bunch of other children. She must be a friend or family member right? Can you just talk to her and ask her to have a plan for crying so he can be removed quickly during the ceremony? I think that’s probably the best way to do it IMO. 

If, however, this affects a lot of families, then it might be eaiser and seem less targeted.

Post # 9
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We wanted a child free wedding, but my SIL and Mother-In-Law insisted that we invite our nephews who were 6 and 3. I told them they could bring them, and put their names on the invitation…but just didn’t invite any other children. It didn’t matter, no one seemed to care. One other couple asked about their baby and we said it was up to them…they opted against bringing her so that they could drink.

Post # 10
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m in a similar dilema. Actually I really dont want any young children at the ceremony. So Ive decided to maybe find a babysitter and have her watch the kids in a nearby area during the ceremony. I dont need any distractions during our heartfelt vows (I already got my 3 kids to deal with) but I cant just put Adult Ceremony on the invites (our wedding is OOT) or I fear that no one will show. At the reception they can join us.

Post # 11
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

It looks like you’re just excluding non-family children, which a lot of people do. A one-year old can certainly stay with a babysitter, and will get *nothing* out of the wedding/reception.

Post # 13
40 posts
  • Wedding: May 2007

I’m a mom, and I would not be offended or hurt if my kids were not invited to a wedding, unless it was my immediate family (which is happening to me right now, on a side note).  I wouldn’t expect people to invite their friend’s children, unless they want to include them.  For our wedding, we addressed the invite to only the parents, but told our friends that we’d rather see them with their kids at our wedding, then not have them be able to attend at all, for whatever reason.

On another side note, you wanting your friends to enjoy themselves without their child will be completely up to them.  Mine and my husband’s most favorite wedding (besides our own – and we’ve been to like 50+ since we’ve been together) was one wedding where my kids were invited…and we all had a blast!  One of our worst weddings was where my first baby was not invited (at the time he was only a few weeks old).  We literally got there right when dinner started (totally skipped the ceremony) and left immediately following our last bite of food.  We were so nervous and anxious about leaving our baby that we weren’t able to have a good time.

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