(Closed) Semi-long vent about FI

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My FH is super-concerned about the food as well, so I let him have full control of the caterer and menu (within reason; it has to fit in our budget [if not, we have to discuss it] and naturally he needs to fill me in on the final choice just so I know what to expect!) because frankly, I don’t care what we/our guests eat that day, as long as we get to eat. Also, because he cares about it so much, he’ll definitely make sure that it’s food that’s good and that people will enjoy. Naturally he’s been telling me when important stuff happens, like “oh I looked at A’s menu and I didn’t like it, they’re off the list!” but I don’t have to be thinking about it and he feels comfortable making decisions that mean a lot to him without having to consult me on every little detail.

On the other hand, he doesn’t give two hoots about invitations/paper products or what we and our bridal party will wear – obviously he wants them to look fabulous, but he’s leaving the decisions up to me because I care about these things, and he doesn’t. Again, I just have to keep him in the loop.

What I’m trying to say it, perhaps it’s time to have a sit-down with your man and make some decisions. If you’re lucky enough to have complementary areas of concern, like FH and I do – and it sounds like you do! – then take advantage of it and give each of you less things to worry about! Hopefully, that way he will also feel more like it’s HIS wedding as well and not just “yours”.

At the same time, make it clear to him (nicely, of course) how important it is to have his groomsmen picked out and confirmed by such-and-such a time, for PRACTICAL reasons. Draw up a timeline if you must! Guys can be very clueless about such things, so you need to help him out. 🙂

Oops, that turned out to be way longer than I intended. Hope This Helps anyway! 🙂

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