(Closed) Send an invite even if you know they are not coming?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Methodist Church/Country Club

I don’t know what the "etiquette" of this situation might be, but this is what I would do! There are some of my parents friends that live in Dallas (I’m in Illinois) that I know won’t be coming, but I’m still going to send them invites so they know I would love for them to come and I consider them special people to myself and my parents. Plus, you never know who might change their minds.

It might be a little different for a destination wedding, as plans have to be made further in advance and everything, but I would still stick to the rule that everyone who got an STD receives an invite. If you’re really worried about it you can send a little note along with the invite saying "I know the last time we talked you didn’t think you could make it but we’d still love to have you join us if you so choose!"

Post # 4
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i like chickadee’s idea…and we did send to those we knew wouldn’t come, just so they wouldnt feel left out if they heard through the grapevine.

on our guest list, we had a column for "invite, but know they arent coming" LOL.

Post # 5
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2007

You should still send to those who have expressed they can’t come. We are also having a destination wedding and sent invites to all those we sent STD’s to. It’s more of a politeness thing and just because they can’t make it doens’t mean they shouldnt’ officially be invited (and in the case of family, they may want to save the invite as a keepsake.)

Post # 6
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

Eh…if someone has already expressed that they cannot come you should not send them an invitation. We had numerous friends who stated, before we sent out invitations, that they could not come. Sending them a wedding invitation we felt, would only be "fishing" for gifts.

Post # 7
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Yes, invite them! Let them know you want them to be a part of your day even if you know they can’t be there. 

Post # 8
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I would but only because in the time between now and the time you send out invites, they may have a change of heart or extra money.  I know that if someone asked me and i declined, and then had the ability to actually go I would feel akward not getting and invite and woulnd’t want to call the bride or groom to say "Hey, can I still come" – know what I mean.

I’m sure this isn’t "proper" but just what I would most likely do if I were in the situation.

To each their own 🙂

 

Good luck!!! 

Post # 9
Bee
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2007 - Radisson Hotel

I sent one to a few people I knew for sure wouldn’t come. My brother for one! I sent him an email saying I sent it to him for posterity’s sake, and he told me he was glad, since they wanted to keep it. 🙂 So sweet. I told them not to bother sending the RSVP back, since it was Australia, and would take forever to get here. I sent one to a friend who couldn’t make it, too, and he was also glad.

 

I guess you just never know! I had a few people who were SURE they were coming, but when the invite came, they were just like, what?? Ohhh. Whoops, can’t make it.  

Post # 10
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yes. always send out invites even if you know they aren’t coming!

Post # 11
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Question regarding this thread… so if you know they can’t come, and you choose to send them the invitation anyways, do you still need to put a stamp on the rsvp envelope?

 

Post # 12
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@atao: This thread is 5 years old!! I wonder if the original poster and the other responders are even still married. LOL!

Post # 13
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013
Post # 14
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@gemgirl6:  well I figured, someone posted 4 months ago.. and rather than starting a new thread (since this question has already been answered) and I had a similar question, I would just add my question on here. Plus this could be helpful for other current bees..

 

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