Send gift/cash for elopement?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’d send a nice heartfelt card congratulating the newlyweds and wishing them well in the future. I don’t think it’s necessary to send any sort of present for an elopment.

Post # 3
2738 posts
Sugar bee

I agree, I don’t think a gift is necessary. But if you feel like you want to give something, go for it!

Post # 4
819 posts
Busy bee

I did a bit of digging, and it seems that there really isn’t any etiquette on whether or not gifts are customary for an elopement, much less what kind of gift to give. The way I see it, they’re still married, gifts are still part of the tradition of celebrating a marriage, so if it were me I’d send them the same type of gift/amount of money I would as if they had had a more traditional wedding. That said, give what you’re comfortable with– they probably don’t expect any gifts, so whatever you send will most likely be very appreciated.

Post # 5
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think they would certainly appreciate it, though I don’t think it’s necessary. If they have some sort of a celebration with family later, I would give a gift then. 

We didn’t exactly elope, but we had a private ceremony with just our parents. We later had a party with a couple dozen family members to celebrate, we got some gifts and cards then, but we did not get gifts from anyone that did not attend the party.

Post # 6
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Gifts are never necessary.

I would send a card with my best wishes and a gift to anyone I was close to. My decision is based on my relationship to the couple, not whether or not I was invited to the wedding.

Post # 7
242 posts
Helper bee

I’m eloping later this year and I hope no one feels obligated to give us anything. The only thing I would feel comfortable with would be a hug, but people in my area hug a lot.

You can send/give whatever you are comfortable with but when people elope, they expect not to receive any showers/gifts. I’m actually planning a backyard party a few weeks after we get back and I still hope no one feels like they need to get/give us anything.

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