Post # 1
We were invited to four weddings this summer/fall that ended up being canceled (with no new date announced) or postponed to a new date (they gave us the new date in 2021) and I was wondering what the gift etiquette is in these situations?
I assume we can send a gift a year from now for the wedding with the new date (or should we send a gift for the previous date??) , but I’m not sure about the cancelled one. They said they would probably have an immediate family ceremony and stream it over zoom (but they didn’t provide any concrete details such as date, time, etc). We are leaning toward sending a gift anyway around the original date but I wanted to see what everyone else on here is thinking?
Post # 2
I would send gifts whenever the wedding is actually happening. So if that’s next year then just give one next year. If someone is keeping their original date and having a smaller/streamed ceremony send one then.
Post # 3
Give gifts if/when you are invited to the new wedding date at the new wedding date. Nothing now.
Post # 4
I’m gifting for the rescheduled reception. The couple got legally married in their backyard with immediate family only on the original date, and I gave my congratulations for that. It seems weird to give a gift now for something I’m attending in a year.
Post # 5
I would give a gift when the event to which you are invited takes place – so if they are having a private ceremony but inviting you to the reception later, then give the gift at the reception.
If the wedding is cancelled, then there’s no need to send a gift at all. If you know them very well, a small sympathy gift might be a kind gesture, but I don’t think it’s necessary.
Post # 6
Id give a gift at the actual wedding/reception. I agree with pps it seems weird to send a gift for an event im attending in a year. I probably wouldnt give a gift for a cancelled wedding that I wasnt invited to the new one unless I was extremely close with the couple.
Post # 7
For those getting married this year but having the reception next year I am giving something for both. For instance, for my cousin I gave her and her fiancé a set of champagne flutes from their registry and included a note about how we will still be toasting them on their wedding day and how excited we are for them. Next year for the reception I will give something else from the registry or contribute to their honeymoon.
Will probably end up spending a little more than I usually do, but to give a little joy couples who have had so much stress is worth it.
Post # 8
we sent a gift to a couple who got legally married but postponed their big wedding until next year. for our other friends who postponed everything until next year, we are waiting.
Post # 9
I gave a gift for a wedding that took place on a much smaller scale with a large reception to follow next year. They got married and the gift is to celebrate the marriage so it made sense to give a gift for that rather than the party that will occur next year.
Had they postponed the whole thing until next year and not actually gotten married on the original date, I would have waited to give the gift. I would send a gift for the date of their marriage even if I was no longer invited to the event (due to downsizing for CovidICovid) if I’m close to the couple
Post # 10
It depends on your relationship with the couple. If you aren’t close then I’d wait until they actually had the wedding and do it like normal then. If they end up not having a wedding with guests and you aren’t invited then you give nothing. Usually the point is it’s an exchange. They give you a nice evening of food and fun and you give a gift. If they aren’t hosting you at a party they don’t get a gift.
However, if you are good friends or feel like being generous you can get them a gift now even though they haven’t rescheduled the wedding and don’t know if they will. IF down the road they did reschedule than you would get them a congrats card and not get another gift because you already got them one earlier.
If they have rescheduled then just wait for the new wedding to do gifts.
We had 3 friends have to change their plans. 2 got married at the court house and aren’t doing weddings anymore. We aren’t super close and haven’t thought of sending anything. We never even got the round of invites from them that had registry info. The 3rd couple moved it a year away and for that we will treat it like any other wedding in terms of gifts when the wedding happens.
The two canceled couples are TTC and so I imagine that when they announce it we might send them a nice bigger gift then normal for that since they didn’t get any wedding gift from us.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
Only send a gift for a wedding when it happens. I think sending a gift for a cancelled wedding would be weird.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard
We have been invited to two weddings this year. One we have not heard yet what the couple wants to do but I plan on sending our gift in a couple of months regardless. We just have a busy next couple months planned and any spare money is tied up or I would send it sooner just to make sure it is all done since we cannot attend.
Post # 13
If the whole thing is postponed, you’d send a gift to their home, most ideally just ahead of the new date. If you want to send something now, it could be more along the lines of an “I’m thinking of you” or engagement gift.
If they are getting married now, but downsized to something intimate, I’d send a wedding gift if you are close, regardless. What’s more, if it was me it would be the same gift as if I had been invited.
Post # 14
Ok, so our destination wedding was cancelled which I was very happy about lol I know unpopular opinion but anyways…we eloped and our families threw 2 parties for us and they all gave us gifts. I didn’t expect that but my husband definitely did. However, I feel a little bit uncomfortable as I feel like I don’t deserve the gifts and the $$$$ lol
Post # 15
When you say “cancelled”, do you mean they are never getting married, or that they are also postponing but just don’t know the date yet? In all cases, you give a gift when the wedding happens.