(Closed) Send invitations 5 month’s early?

posted 8 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think that especially with Destination Weddings invitations should be sent out further in advance than usual. It gives people the time to arrange transportation and time off work. 

Post # 4
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i think this is a little too early. i’m guessing you won’t get most of your rsvp’s…a lot of people simply don’t plan that far in advance, or might want to wait until closer to the wedding to decide if they can take the trip. there might be factors they need to find out to decide if they can go. by sending invites and making people rsvp now, it pretty much sends the message that you don’t want them there and you just want them to rsvp no so that you can invite your “real” guests.

personally, i would be offended by this scenario. either tell your parents to limit their lists or modify your budget so that you can invite everyone at once.

Post # 5
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@berco28: I disagree with PP. We’re planning sending ours out early as well. Like you all of our family will be traveling to our wedding.  I already had to set up room blocks, and I need to know if I need to increase the amount.  I don’t see it as being rude. I actually think it’s more polite,  like you said most people will be traveling and that involves getting airfare and getting plans made in advance.  I think most people have made up their minds already when you announce your wedding date and  location.  Who really complains that they recieved their invitation too early? And if they do have complain, just tell you have three words: Get Over It.

Post # 7
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I did my invites in waves, starting about 4 months prior… great idea! No one minded at all, and we were sure to have all the people we wanted present on our special day. Many people need ample time to book off holidays at work, so if you are having an “away from home” wedding.. the sooner the better I’d say!

Post # 8
Member
690 posts
Busy bee

We had a similar situation.  Our venue could also hold 100 people.  Fiance has a LARGE family, but they all live in Europe.  When we started talking about the wedding, lots of them were showing interest in coming over to our wedding.  However, we didn’t want to have to chop 30 people off the list from here, only to have all of FI’s family RSVP no.

So we sent out the invites in the middle of September, and asked for a reply by Nov 1.  We also included info about the second reception we are having in Germany (though not specifics yet – just to let them know that it’s happening).  Everyone RSVPed (and only one person missed the deadline).  We officially have 4 people coming.  So glad we did it this way, vs cutting off 30 people the list!  As soon as we had the international responses, we sent out Save the Dates to all the locals.

Post # 9
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

We’re also having a destination wedding and the invites are going out 7 weeks prior. However, we’re not having an A or B list, and we’re sending the STD’s out at 9 months, then a couple newsletters in between with travel info.

Post # 10
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m in a similar sitation!  I sent out STD’s but need to know if they are coming or not so I can invite others.  It’s difficult but we decided we will send out those invites 15 weeks in advance, with RSVP date of 6 weeks before the wedding.  This will allow me to send other invites at the normal 8 week (maybe 6) with an RSVP date of 2 weeks before the wedding date.  My biggest issue is having family bring their children, around 14 yrs old – 17 yrs old, or not.  So not so much a whole other family but rather if the invite will say Mr&Mrs or —-Family.  Hotels require rooms booked no later than 30 days before the event, so if they are traveling, I would assume f reservations have not been made, they aren’t coming,

Post # 11
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am having a domestic (ie in the same province I live) wedding, but 90% of my guests are coming from out of town (for most, it’s a 2-7 hour drive away). We are sending out our invites May 1st for my Oct 22nd wedding. My Rsvp deadling will be Aug 1st.

Some people might tell me it’s too early, but I don’t care.

Post # 12
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Sweet ceremony by the sea and sunset celebration on the North Shore of Hawaii

@berco28: April in Tahoe will be gorgeous! For our Destination Wedding, we sent out our STD’s and launched our wedding website 9 months to the wedding date. We’ll be sending our invites 5 months before and will have the rsvp cards due 1 month later. We don’t have a very big B list but we want to make sure our guests get a reasonable airfare rate and we block enough rooms. I say do whatever works for you and your guests – you know them far better than an ettiquette book 🙂 best of luck!

Post # 13
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Also having a destination wedding, and we decided to give everyone a 9-month heads-up by sending out our Save the Dates.  In the Save-The-Date Cards we included our wedding website address which has hotel and airport information.  I’ve already heard from a few guests who live overseas that they won’t be able to make it.  Our wedding is in May and we’re mailing the Invitations Feb. 14th with a RSVP of April 29th.  We don’t have a B-list, but I totally understand why some do, and if you’re really good at managing to the point where your guests aren’t aware that such a list does exist, I think it’s totally fine.  PPs have offered really great suggestions on how to pull that off w/out your guests becoming aware of the B-list.  

Good luck!

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