Post # 1
Alright – here is our situation: My fiances family all lives in the midwest and we’re in CA. We’re having our wedding in Tahoe, CA April 30. My fiances father has 12 siblings (oye!). We are going to invite all of them, although we think most won’t come out here as well as my family. So we have an A invite list (close friends and relatives) and a B list.
The plan is to wait until we get some declines before we dive into the B list. I did not send Save the Dates because to be honest we’re inviting a lot of these people to make our parents happy and we’re actually hoping a lot of them won’t come (feels bad saying that)…. So we were thinking of sending out the A list invitations the 1st week of Dec and asking them to RSVP by Jan 15th. Is this to early to send them and is this enough time for them to RSVP?
Post # 3
I think that especially with Destination Weddings invitations should be sent out further in advance than usual. It gives people the time to arrange transportation and time off work.
Post # 4
i think this is a little too early. i’m guessing you won’t get most of your rsvp’s…a lot of people simply don’t plan that far in advance, or might want to wait until closer to the wedding to decide if they can take the trip. there might be factors they need to find out to decide if they can go. by sending invites and making people rsvp now, it pretty much sends the message that you don’t want them there and you just want them to rsvp no so that you can invite your “real” guests.
personally, i would be offended by this scenario. either tell your parents to limit their lists or modify your budget so that you can invite everyone at once.
Post # 5
@berco28: I disagree with PP. We’re planning sending ours out early as well. Like you all of our family will be traveling to our wedding. I already had to set up room blocks, and I need to know if I need to increase the amount. I don’t see it as being rude. I actually think it’s more polite, like you said most people will be traveling and that involves getting airfare and getting plans made in advance. I think most people have made up their minds already when you announce your wedding date and location. Who really complains that they recieved their invitation too early? And if they do have complain, just tell you have three words: Get Over It.
Post # 6
To clarify, this isn’t a money issue. We have a limit of 100 at our venue. We could send them out Dec 1st and ask them to RSVP by Feb 1st. This would give them more time
Post # 7
I did my invites in waves, starting about 4 months prior… great idea! No one minded at all, and we were sure to have all the people we wanted present on our special day. Many people need ample time to book off holidays at work, so if you are having an “away from home” wedding.. the sooner the better I’d say!
Post # 8
We had a similar situation. Our venue could also hold 100 people. Fiance has a LARGE family, but they all live in Europe. When we started talking about the wedding, lots of them were showing interest in coming over to our wedding. However, we didn’t want to have to chop 30 people off the list from here, only to have all of FI’s family RSVP no.
So we sent out the invites in the middle of September, and asked for a reply by Nov 1. We also included info about the second reception we are having in Germany (though not specifics yet – just to let them know that it’s happening). Everyone RSVPed (and only one person missed the deadline). We officially have 4 people coming. So glad we did it this way, vs cutting off 30 people the list! As soon as we had the international responses, we sent out Save the Dates to all the locals.
Post # 9
We’re also having a destination wedding and the invites are going out 7 weeks prior. However, we’re not having an A or B list, and we’re sending the STD’s out at 9 months, then a couple newsletters in between with travel info.
Post # 10
I’m in a similar sitation! I sent out STD’s but need to know if they are coming or not so I can invite others. It’s difficult but we decided we will send out those invites 15 weeks in advance, with RSVP date of 6 weeks before the wedding. This will allow me to send other invites at the normal 8 week (maybe 6) with an RSVP date of 2 weeks before the wedding date. My biggest issue is having family bring their children, around 14 yrs old – 17 yrs old, or not. So not so much a whole other family but rather if the invite will say Mr&Mrs or —-Family. Hotels require rooms booked no later than 30 days before the event, so if they are traveling, I would assume f reservations have not been made, they aren’t coming,
Post # 11
I am having a domestic (ie in the same province I live) wedding, but 90% of my guests are coming from out of town (for most, it’s a 2-7 hour drive away). We are sending out our invites May 1st for my Oct 22nd wedding. My Rsvp deadling will be Aug 1st.
Some people might tell me it’s too early, but I don’t care.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2011 - Sweet ceremony by the sea and sunset celebration on the North Shore of Hawaii
@berco28: April in Tahoe will be gorgeous! For our Destination Wedding, we sent out our STD’s and launched our wedding website 9 months to the wedding date. We’ll be sending our invites 5 months before and will have the rsvp cards due 1 month later. We don’t have a very big B list but we want to make sure our guests get a reasonable airfare rate and we block enough rooms. I say do whatever works for you and your guests – you know them far better than an ettiquette book 🙂 best of luck!
Post # 13
Also having a destination wedding, and we decided to give everyone a 9-month heads-up by sending out our Save the Dates. In the Save-The-Date Cards we included our wedding website address which has hotel and airport information. I’ve already heard from a few guests who live overseas that they won’t be able to make it. Our wedding is in May and we’re mailing the Invitations Feb. 14th with a RSVP of April 29th. We don’t have a B-list, but I totally understand why some do, and if you’re really good at managing to the point where your guests aren’t aware that such a list does exist, I think it’s totally fine. PPs have offered really great suggestions on how to pull that off w/out your guests becoming aware of the B-list.