(Closed) Send invite when I was not invited to their wedding

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If you want them at your wedding, go ahead and invite them.  They may have had space or financial limits that may have left you off their list but I don’t think you inviting them will change your invite status.



Post # 4
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you want to invite them, go for it. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

Post # 5
8694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

if you want them, invite them.

Fi and I are inviting a couple to our wedding.  Fiance wasn’t invited to their wedding (before I knew FI).  But the groom called Fiance and explained that they would love to have him but had to limit the list.


Post # 6
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

If you want to avoid the guilt invitiation, maybe wait to send theirs for an extra week or two? That makes it late enough before their wedding that they really can’t invite you due to submitting final #s to caterers, etc. That’s what I would do.

Post # 8
7735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Greenpat468:  I think you guilted them into sending an invitation, even though that wasn’t your intention. I suggest when you send your address you say something like, “Don’t feel like you need to invite us. We know wedding guest lists are difficult and if we’re not invited we’re not at all hurt or offended.”

I haven’t been in your situation, but I have had a girl (who got married about 3 years before us, and invited me) say, “Don’t feel like you’ve got to invite us.” It was nice to be told that, even though we invited them anyway.

Post # 9
3371 posts
Sugar bee

@Greenpat468:  For me it would depend on why I wasn’t invited to their wedding. Maybe it was a really small wedding because they couldn’t afford a huge guest list. Maybe your invite really did get lost in the mail. How close are you? Is there anyway you could ask without sounding like you’re trying to invite yourself to their wedding?

ETA: Saw you’re update and UGH. They’re inviting you because you’re inviting them. Well, not much to do at this point, but invite them or it’ll be awkward.

Post # 11
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wouldn’t invite them. 

Post # 12
3226 posts
Sugar bee

Just decline and forget about it. Welcome them to your wedding with open arms.

I think that sometimes grooms speak too soon. My husband was inviting EVERYONE to our wedding even though we both knew it was going to be a very small wedding or that we were going to elope (and don’t worry, he got a stern talking). We ended up having a mostly family wedding. Did he bother to mention this to anyone that he verbally invited to the wedding? No.

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