(Closed) Send STD but not Invite?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

No No No!  You cannot send a STD then NOT send an invite!

OK, I don’t mean to yell – this topic comes up a lot.

What I would do for those people that are not invited to the wedding is send an announcement of your marriage AFTER the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

you send an engagement announcement, not a std.

Post # 5
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I agree…you can NOT send a STD and not follow that up with an invite. Otherwise, you’re asking someone to save a date for no reason. That’s plain rude.

Figure out your finalized guest list prior to sending the Save-The-Date Cards. You can go over by about 5-10% as you’re likely to have “No” RSVPs when your Invites do go out.

But don’t, DON’T send someone a STD if you’re not going to invite them to the big event!

Post # 7
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Sorry dear, sending a Save The Date and not following up with an invite is like letting people smell dinner and then throwing it out…they don’t like it, at all. 

Post # 8
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

If you really want people to know, the tried and true method of picking up the phone and calling people is a good one, social networking is a shotgun approach and emails work too….may I ask why you want them to know if they aren’t invited?  Might that garner some hurt feelings at the exclusion?

Post # 9
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsWBS:  I would be afraid if someone gets an engagment announcement then they would be expecting an invitation.

I’ve never received an engagement announcement and not received a wedding invitation.  I have receivied marriage announcements having not been invited to the wedding though.

Post # 11
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@country chic:  I agree but it’s a better option than sending a save the date!  Why don’t you just put an engagement announcement in the local paper.

Post # 13
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  I’m not sure how sending an STD would be better than an engagement announcement, as far as ‘showing off’ goes. In both cases I think it would be fair for the person to expect an invite. Only send Save-The-Date Cards to those who will be invited. I would send the streaming link to people who invite who RSVP ‘no’ if they want it, and then send out marriage announcements to those who you don’t invite!

Post # 14
Member
6221 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Yup, agree with the PP that you have marriage/engagement announcements for that, not save the dates.

Post # 15
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree that a STD and engagement announcement may get confused. I’d call them or let the grape vine do its thing.

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